Expert: Dr Don Howe - 7/25/2008

Question
I was married as an unbeliever and divorced while still an unbeliever.  The divorce was for irreconcilable differences, not for marital infidelity.  I have since been born again and I absolutely and completely come up under God's will and design for the marriage covenant, the two shall become one flesh and this is for life.  I have remarried to a precious and wonderful Christian woman.  Very recently I have been under tremendous "attack" regarding God's view of my marriage to my Christian wife.  I understand in God's view I  was never divorced and that my re-marriage is an adulterous relationship.  This grieves me deeply as I love the Lord my God and I love my wife!!!  I understand it is God's desire and heart that I never, ever divorced my first wife, however, under your understanding of Scripture, what is my current position with God in my Christian marriage.  I do not believe God is looking for me to divorce my Christian wife and seek to be reconciled again to my unbelieving first wife, and thus be unequally yoked.  I like to believe that God's grace which was powerful enough to save a wretch like me, wash me clean and set me apart in Christ for His glory is powerful enough to overcome my sins of the past.  I have finally found what God intended for marriage to be with my precious and wonderful Christian wife, and believe me the sum of the two becoming one is so much greater than what I could have ever hoped for or imagined.  My marriage relationship is so honoring, so devotional, so encouraging, so uplifting.  My spiritual life has been fulfilled within the context of biblical marriage and I have even learned a much greater understanding of sacrificial love (practicing it is sometimes more difficult, but even there God is daily conforming me into the image of His Son).  I have awaken at night in tears here recently as I have been "convicted" of the possibility I am in a perpetual sin relationship in my biblical marriage and it is a crushing pain and sorrow.  I would rather be celibate and un-married rather than cause my wife to sin against God by fulfilling the marriage responsibilities in the area of a sexual relationship.  Myself, as one who loves God with all my heart, I would never, ever desire anything outside His commands.  

I am in no way a recent convert; I was saved on December 6, 1997, however, I have never experienced this type of conviction regarding my marriage relationship before.  The catalyst was when I was nominated as a candidate for the office of Deacon and of course I immediately called into context 1 Tim 4 and the specific instruction that a deacon be the husband of but one wife.  Our senior pastor interprets this as no one who has been divorced may serv e as a deacon.  I fully accept that position and fall up under his authority on that matter and I am very encouraged by the fact that he is absolutely convicted that it is the interpretation God has given him.  Of course, under that interpretation, I am in a perpetual sin-based relationship with my current wife and this has grieved me to the point of tears.  

What is your advice on this subject?

Answer
   Jim, thank you for your question. I know exactly what your are talking about and experiencing. My brother, take your shoes off, sit down, take a deep breath, calm your spirit, open your bible, and we are going “rightly divide the Word of Truth” (2Ti 2:15).  I have good news. The problem is not with you but your pastor. Your pastor is being spiritually abusive to you, difficult or stiffnecked as the bible calls it,  and not interpreting 1 Tim. 3:1-13 exactly in the correct context. Jim a lot of fundamentalist Baptist churches are very legalistic and the pastors are very rigid, judgmental, overpowering, and hide behind poor exegesis of the Word of God to twist the Scriptures, so they can control people. This sounds like your church and pastor.   
   Jim, I know exactly what you are talking about. I too was married before to a lady 9 years older than me. I married young and was not a believer at the time, and neither was she. After about 5 years, I found out she was committing adultery and having trysts with other men. I was not committing adultery and was faithful. But my love grew cold and I got a divorce.  Even though I was not saved at the time, I felt like a terrible failure as a man and as a former husband. Then I met my present wife who is a Baptist believer. She was divorced also coming from a marriage where she was abused and beaten. But after suffering all of this,  she still had a glow about her and a joy that I did not understand, but I sure did desire to know what it was. And I did find out, and His name is Jesus. I fell off the side of the cliff for her and she lead me to the Lord, I accepted Jesus as my Savior, received the Holy Spirit, and I was a changed man. We got married and we grew in the Lord together. I love and cherish my wife, and Jim you do too as you stated “I have remarried to a precious and wonderful Christian woman.” I then joined a conservative Lutheran Church and within a year I was an elder. The being divorced never came up nor was it an issue but it did later. Remember you and I were not saved when we got our divorce, as this will be a big deciding issue for your and me. You will see.
  After 10 years of being in the Lutheran Church (LCMS), I joined a very conservative SBC church that had approximately 300 members. The pastor was an older man but a very theologically conservative man. I was nominated for deacon, just as you were, x 2, and I never got past the nominating phase because I had been divorced when I was younger. I was being judged by something that took place when I was young and I was not saved at the time. But now I am saved and being judged by something that happened as an unsaved man. This hurt me spiritually very deeply. I knew all my sins were covered by the blood of Jesus when I was saved and forgiven by God by his grace and mercy, but NOT BY THE PASTOR. You can not judge a saved man now by what he did as an unsaved man in the past, this is like to trying to mix oil and vinegar. Jim, this the very same thing your pastor is doing to you and it is wrong. This is called spiritual abuse which is a word that  was coined in the late twentieth century to refer to alleged misuse of authority by church leaders. Your pastor and my former pastor are  spiritually abusive because they are using their authority to push their judgment (based on their personal opinion and not the Word of God) of what you and I did when were unbelivers to keep us from holding a position of leadership in the Church. Jim your nominating committee in your Baptist church should be looking upon your worthiness to serve as a deacon based on  (1) YOUR BEING A SAVED MAN, (2) how you have served in your church, (3) your faithfulness in attendance and in tithing, and (4) your love for the Lord Jesus, not because you got a divorce as an UNSAVED MAN. This spiritual dog will not hunt.
   Continuing my story, I moved to a larger town and joined a progressive midsize SBC church who functions by God’s grace and not posturing as the Pharisees do. After a year, I was nominated again as a deacon in my new church, and Jim I going to be honest, I was gun shy to say the least of moving forward about this nomination. So I went to my pastor and told him about what happened x 2 in my old church and my concerns, and he told me with the grace that surpasses any understanding that it was okay and not to worry about it. Why did he say it was okay. First, I was being looked at by what my service was in the church now, and not what I did when I was an unbeliever or being divorced. In fact my pastor married a divorced woman, so he had more insight than your pastor does.
   Jim, I understand what your concerns are. Been there and done that.
   Jim you stated “I have since been born again and I absolutely and completely come up under God's will and design for the marriage covenant, the two shall become one flesh and this is for life.  I have remarried to a precious and wonderful Christian woman.” Praise God and Bless His Holy Name, that you have been saved, understand what a Christian husband is suppose  be like in a Godly marriage, and recognize the blessing God has given you by bestowing to you a Godly wife. Jim you are judging yourself by what took place when you were not saved. Your pastor is doing the same thing. God has forgiven you for what happened in your former marriage, and this happened when you accepted Jesus as your Savior. But you have to forgive yourself also.
  Jim you stated “Very recently I have been under tremendous "attack" regarding God's view of my marriage to my Christian wife.” The attack you are feeling may be from the hurt feeling you are experiencing because  your pastor is incorrectly interpreting 1 Tim. Chapter 3 and sounds like your pastor is criticizing you for being married once before. Who cares what your pastor thinks? It is what God thinks that matters. You are to please God in your Christian walk and not man. God has forgiven you and that is all that matters.
   Jim you stated “I understand in God's view I  was never divorced and that my re-marriage is an adulterous relationship. .  This grieves me deeply as I love the Lord my God and I love my wife!!!  I understand it is God's desire and heart that I never, ever divorced my first wife, however, under your understanding of Scripture, what is my current position with God in my Christian marriage. I do not believe God is looking for me to divorce my Christian wife and seek to be reconciled again to my unbelieving first wife, and thus be unequally yoked.” Jim, God’s grace is sufficient to forgive all sins including being married when you and your first wife were not believers. So stop being so hard on yourself. Let’s see what God has to say about the sins you have committed. Jim your sin are forgiven and covered by the blood of Jesus. Rom 4:7 states  “Blessed [are] they whose iniquities are forgiven, and whose sins are covered.“ Covered by what, the blood of Jesus. Jim, when you accepted Jesus as your Savior all of your iniquities (including getting a divorced when you were younger) is covered by the blood of Jesus,  God says he remembers them no more. Heb. 10:17 states “And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.” Now you are cleansed for ALL UNRIGHTEOUSNESS. 1Jo 1:9 states “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” In summary, Jim when you accepted Jesus as your Savior the following happened: 1) You are blessed because your sins are forgiven (Rom. 4:7), 2) your sins (including being divorced) are covered by the blood of Jesus (Rom. 4:7), 3) God forgets your sins and iniquities for ever and remembers them NO MORE (Heb. 10:17), and 4) you are cleansed from all unrighteousness (note God said all unrighteousness which includes divorce) as stated in 1 John 1:9. So God’s grace and forgiveness did all of the above when you were saved and your iniquities are not remembered no more by God, but your stiffneck pastor can not see the forgivenss of your sins when you are nominated as a DEACON. As you can see there not a problem from God’s point of view but from your pastor’s point of view. Sounds like to me he thinks he knows more than God does.
   Jim, your pastor is treating being divorced as the unpardonable sin, but Matthew 12:31-32 tells us what that is, "Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy [against] the [Holy] Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men.  And whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the [world] to come.” The unpardonable sin is rejecting Jesus as your Savior, and you have not done this. No problem. Jim, you are blessed and highly favor so revel in it.
   Jim you asked “what is my current position with God in my Christian marriage.” We have answered that above. Your divorce and all your sins has been forgiven by God and remembered no more, but not by your stiffnecked pastor.
   You added “I do not believe God is looking for me to divorce my Christian wife and seek to be reconciled again to my unbelieving first wife, and thus be unequally yoked.” Jim, you have gotten this right. God does not want you to divorce your present Christian wife as your sins have been forgiven when you were saved, and then go back into sin by remarrying your first wife. This would mean God is asking you to sin again by divorcing your present wife. God forbid no.
   But God does not like divorce, but permits it. To understand the full meaning of what this means we have go to Matt. 19:3-12, and you have to interpret in the context that it was written. The Pharisees are trying to trap Jesus about divorce and adultery so they can use it against him. And you can tell the use of the word “tempting” in verse 3. There were two schools of rabbinical thoughts about the Law of divorce. The first school held the only grounds for divorce was immorality (school of Rabbi Shammai). Another school (school of Rabbi Hillel) believed that anything that displeased the husband was sufficient to obtain a divorce. The Pharisees wanted Jesus to take one side or the other to use as evidence against him. Keep in context Jesus is responding to the questions of the Pharisees related to one of these schools of thought about divorce. Jesus states God does not like divorce but permits it because of the hardness of mans heart (this shows God’s grace toward man by His permitting it and also understood the hardness of man’s heart), and he does not say that adultery or divorce is the one sin that is going to send you to hell, BUT YOUR PASTOR THINKS IT WILL.
   Matt. 19:3-4 states “The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made [them] at the beginning made them male and female.” Note in verse 3 tells of the intentions and purpose of the Pharisees is to tempt Jesus. Jesus did not want to get involved in the two controversies about divorce but reminded the Pharisees the original purpose of God’s establishing the marriage bond. God made male and female in the beginning. God is the one who joins men and women together in marriage. In this, Jesus asserts God’s “ownership” over marriage; it is God’s institution, not man’s, so His rules apply.
   Matt 19:5-6 states “And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” God ordained marriage as the strongest bond in all human relationships. A man leaves his parents and is joined to his wife. The most permanent relationship in society is not between parent and child, but between husband and wife. The two become one flesh. The basic element in marriage is the covenant between man and woman. Let no mane put asunder, which is chōrizō in the Greek which means to depart, separate, or divide. Let not man separate the two.
   Matt. 7-8 states “They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.” Then the Pharisees asked Jesus of why did Moses command to give a writing of divorcement. Command is entellō in the Greek and it means to order, give charge, or command to be done. So Moses gave an order or charge to give a writing of divorce, and to put her away, which in apolyō in Greek which means to set free, let go, depart, or dismiss. When the order for a divorce was given the woman was set free. Note God never commands divorce but permits it.
   Moses gave the order for divorce because of the “harness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives.” Suffered you means epitrepō in the Greek which means to permit. So an order of divorce was given because of the hardness of men’s heart permitted to set your wife free or dismiss her. Divorce is never commanded, but permitted by God in certain circumstances, and God permits it because of the hardness of human hearts.
    Matthew 19:9-10 states “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with [his] wife, it is not good to marry.” Whoever set the wife free except for fornication. Fornication is porneia in the Greek which means illicit sexual intercourse  including  adultery, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals, and can also mean the worship of idols. If the husband divorces his wife, except for fornication, any man who marries her commits adultery. The reason why a person who does not have a legitimate divorce commits adultery upon remarrying is because they are not divorced in the eyes of God. Since their old marriage was never dissolved on Biblical grounds (sexual immorality), that marriage is still valid. Jim, remember in these verses Jesus is answering the question the Pharisees had asked him on God’s position concerning the two rabbinical schools of thought concerning marriage. Jesus is telling them what God’s position is; He does not command divorce but PERMITS it because of the hardness of heart, but God does not condemn because of divorce. The blood of the cross covers all sins including divorce. But God did mean for marriage to be a lasting marriage. Jim, stop judging yourself so hard about the your divorce to your first wife. God has forgiven you for that sin and “remembers it no more” (Heb. 10:17), but you are going to have to forgive yourself and free yourself of any guilt because of it. I know, I had to work through the same feelings of guilt. YOU HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN. NO MATTER WHAT YOU PASTOR HAS TOLD YOU, NOR IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT HE THINKS. IF HE CAN NOT HANDLE THE FACT YOU WERE ONCE DIVORCED THAT IS HIS ISSUE AND NOT YOURS. AMEN.
     Matthew 19:11-12 states “But he said unto them, All [men] cannot receive this saying, save [they] to whom it is given.  For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from [their] mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive [it], let him receive [it].” The disciples understood Jesus’ teaching on marriage and divorce clearly. They understood that it was not a commitment to be entered into quickly or lightly, and considered that since marriage is so binding before God, then maybe it is better not to marry.
   “All [men] cannot receive this saying, save [they] to whom it is given” means Jesus recognized that celibacy is good for some, for the one who is able to accept it (such as the apostle Paul). In verse 12, the term eunuch was used figuratively for those who voluntarily abstain for marriage. Jesus doesn’t necessarily mean biological eunuchs, though He certainly includes them among those who abstain from marriage.  So this gives you what God’s thoughts are on this subject.

OFFICE OF DEACON AND DIVORCE
   Jim you stated “I have never experienced this type of conviction regarding my marriage relationship before.  The catalyst was when I was nominated as a candidate for the office of Deacon and of course I immediately called into context 1 Tim 4 and the specific instruction that a deacon be the husband of but one wife.” The conviction your feeling may be your concern on what God thinks of divorce, and because of your candidacy for deacon has brought these feelings to the forefront. The office of deacon is discussed by Paul in 1 Tim. 3. Verses 1-7 deal with the office of overseer, bishop, or elder. In the Greek it is episkopē which means overseer and this where we get the word Episcopalian. But 1 Tim. 3:8-13 deals with office of deacon.
   Again, divorce is a subject that is like a flame to a powder keg, it has blown up in Christendom and some Church leaders have taken such a legalistic view without grace, that it is caused enormous amount of harm. Mal Couch in A Biblical Theology of the Church states “to say that anyone who has made mistakes in their marriage and has gone through divorce deserves restitution. Many factors have to considered and weighed carefully, but if God forgives and restores, so ought the local assembly.” And I agree with Dr. Couch, but I said the same thing in the discussion above. Dr Couch goes  on to state “the Evangelical Christian world has undergone the scourge of split family. The statistics are almost equal with the secular culture: fifty percent of  Christian families have been broken. This brings into the local body deep spiritual and emotional wounds that need to be attended.” And Jim, I discussed with you about these type of emotional and spiritual wounds and asking you to forgive yourself also. Jim, the stiffneck, redneck, legalistic view that your pastor has taken without distributing grace to you is such an example why the church (local assembly) has been  spiritually abusive to divorced men (including you and I).
   Walter Callison, a Baptist minister, in Divorce, Law, and Jesus stated about divorce that it has hung “like a dark cloud over the heads of Divorced Christians. He goes on to note that the high divorce rate is not the real problem but that marriage failure first be blamed. He argues that early new converts (early saved men in the Early church) often had multiple wives, slave wives, and concubines. But they had to give up the multiple wives, slave wives, and concubines and be a “one-woman kind of man” to serve in the Early Spiritual leadership positions of bishop or deacon. But nothing has been said that these early Spiritual leaders could not serve if they had been divorced or widowed.
   Let us rightly divide the Word of Truth and see what God has to say about this. The verses in question is 1 Tim. 3:2 which states “A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach.” And  1 Tim. 3:12 “Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.” I included both of these verses since both are dealing with the qualifications of spiritual leadership in the church i.e. the office of pastor, overseer, bishop (1 Tim. 3:2), and the office of deacon (1 Tim. 3:12). In verse 2, it says a “bishop then must be” in which  is oun in the Greek meaning therefore or accordingly. The word must is dei in the Greek which means it is necessary or there is need of. Paul is saying for the bishop it is accordingly has a need of being unrebukeable (blamless), “the husband of one wife.” And the term “husband of one wife” literally means “a one-woman kind of man.” Paul is referring to polygamy not divorce. All the early church leaders were Jews who may have several wives, but once they were saved and restored by God as being unrebukeable and accordingly, they became “a one-woman kind of man.” Paul is again is not saying a divorced man or widowed can not be a bishop, but he has to be a man who is the husband of one woman (this is addressing polygamy and sexual immorality). Callison in Divorce, Law, and Jesus goes on to state about this polygamous relationships “each of these relationships” (referring to the multiple wives, concubines, slaves wives that new converts were involved prior to being saved), “though given the nicer title, polygamy, was adultery. Paul rejected the heads of such households as leaders in the church. The command to give a writing of divorcement in Deuteronomy 24 limited a man to only one wife and thus prohibited polygamy and the adultery inherent in it. Paul seemed to concur fully when he said, “A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife” (1 Tim. 3:2). He is rejected polygamy, not divorce.”
 Ed Glasscock goes after this “overseer elder cannot be a divorced person” idea with viciousness of a bulldog. Ed challenges this position in his article entitled “The Husband of One Wife: Requirement in 1 timothy 3:2” and he states “First Timothy 3:2 does not say “an elder must be married only once” nor does it say “an elder cannot remarry.” Since the phrase is admittedly somewhat ambiguous, to place this type of stern restriction (we call it spiritual abuse) on a godly man because of  such an unclear phrase seems quite unjust. One should avoid the Pharisaical error of binding men with unnecessary and oppressive burdens (cf. Matt. 23:1-4; Acts 15:10) and should seek to be gracious at every opportunity.” Glassock goes on “Paul’s concern in 1 Timothy 3:1-10 is that a man desires the office of elder he must be qualified “at that time,” not before his conversion.” Glassock is saying that the man desiring to be an elder or deacon (this is you Jim) must be QUALIFIED AT TIME AFTER HIS CONVERSION, AND NOT BE JUDGED BY THINGS THAT HAS HAPPENED IN HIS LIFE BEFORE HE WAS SAVED (Jim this is what your pastor is doing. He is judging you that you are not worthy to be a deacon based on your being divorced as an UNBELIVER, and he is not even looking on at your qualifications now, your service to God, your present insight of what a Christian husband should be, and the love and devotion you have as a Christian husband for your present wife (AS A SAVED MAN NOW). Jim, God has forgiven you of your past sins when you became saved and asked Jesus into your heart, but your pastor cannot forgive you. This is what Ed Glassock was saying “to place this type of stern restriction on a godly man because of  such an unclear phrase seems quite unjust.” And I concur with this.
  Ed Glassock goes on to say “For those concerned with the testimony of the church, let them consider which glorifies God more—that He takes an unworthy, defiled human and makes him pure enough to become His own servant (cf. 1 Tim. 1:12-16). . .Even divorced and remarried Christians can trust the great promises of Psalm 103:12-13 and Isaiah 38:17. If God has made a man clean how can the church consider him unworthy to serve God even on the highest levels.”
  Bear with me Jim, but Ed Glassock is so right on target with this subject (it gets even better)  and I am really using this to calm your soul and build you up as you  truly ARE BLESSED AND HIGHLY FAVORED BY THE MOST HIGH GOD. Ed Glassock concludes his discussion of 1 Tim. 3:2 “As one considers the many facets of the arguments related to the phrase “one-woman man,” it must be admitted that there is no simple absolute answer. One may assume Paul meant to prohibit divorced and remarried men from serving as elders, but one should honestly admit that Paul did not say “he cannot have been previously married” or “he cannot have been divorced.” What he did say is he must be a one-wife husband or a one-woman type of man. Paul was clearly concerned with one’s character [in the present] when a man is being considered for this high office.”
  Jim all of this applies to the office of deacon also which is 1 Tim. 3:10 which states “And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being [found] blameless.” The “first to be proved” are referring to the Elders or Pastors to be examined worthy based on all the qualifications in 1 Tim. 3 first. “Then let them use the office of the deacon” that the office of deacon is proved by he same qualifications is being blamless etc. The argument for 1 Tim. 3:2 above is identical to 1 Tim. 3:12.  Jim as can see I have given the exegesis Scripture to back what I am saying, and gave reference after reference from other authorities to prove your pastor is wrong about 1 Tim. 3:8-13.
   Jim you stated “Our senior pastor Very recently I have been under tremendous "attack" regarding God's view of my marriage to my Christian wife I fully accept that position and fall up under his authority on that matter.” Jim this is a bunch of nonsense here. You state “I have been under tremendous "attack" regarding God's view of my marriage to my Christian wife.” Jim the attack you have suffered under is called SPIRITUAL ABUSE. Your Senior pastor is the one putting the undue “attack” on you because he is being stiffneck, redneck, and Pharisaical because  ONLY HIS INTERPRETATION OF 1 TIM. 3:8-13 is valid and his interpretation is inaccurate as I have shown you above. Your pastor is not using grace here in his decision concerning you not being worthy as deacon, but his own personal bias, he cannot accurate exegesis the Word of God and get the truth, and he is overpowering in his position as a Senior Pastor in being so callous and spiritual abusive toward you. So stop feeling “attack” by this fool who does not know the Word of God. And I am using the word “fool” because that is what one is when they use their position of authority as pastor in a church to intentionally to  spiritually abuse people, to hurt people, to control (control is the main thing here concerning the use of spiritual abuse), and try to force people to be submissive to his authority.
    Jim you stated “regarding God’s view of my marriage to my to my Christian wife I fully accept and fall his authority on this matter.” I have already shown what God’s position is and that you have been forgiven all your sins and there is nothing hanging over by God concerning your second wife. If the blood of the cross is not sufficient for ALL sins then Jesus died for nothing. But the cross covers all sins since from the beginning of the early Church til Jesus comes back sitting on the thrown in the millennial kingdom.
    But Jim you do not need to be putting yourself under this incorrect position given by your pastor and definitely do not need to be under his authority, because that what he wants so he can control you. I would tell him to go fly a kite and YOU AND YOUR WIFE NEED TO GET OUT THIS MAN’S CHURCH AND GO FIND A BIBLE BELIEVING, GRACE FULFILLING, BAPTIST CHURCH.
    You further stated “and I am very encouraged by the fact that he is absolutely convicted that it is the interpretation God has given him.” This dog wont hunt either. I have given you all the ammunition you need to show that his interpretation is wrong and I also gave you many outside authorities showing that also. Jim you bet “he is absolutely convicted that it is the interpretation God has given him.” Sure he is convicted his interpretation is correct because he is a spiritual abusive controlling man. He is not going to listen to anything or proof that would prove him wrong, so do not even try. Just graciously leave his church and do not look back.
    Jim, I have studied a large amount of hours on spiritual abuse, religious addiction, belief system of cults and major denominations, and I wrote my dissertation on this stuff. I hope any of  this information will help you to think, seek God’s will, and rightly divide the Word of Truth for yourself. People believe what they want to believe, and if they are truly seeking answers, they will take wisdom and advise into consideration and test the water themselves. You need to pray that God will continue to calm your spirit, give the comfort your are looking for,  may the grace of God that surpasses all understanding give you peace, my brother in Christ.

Keep you eyes always upon the SON.

Dr. Don Howe, RN, PhD, ThD, DCC.