AboutRev. Robert Woods Expertise I am an Senior Pastor of Southminster Church in Louisville, KY. I have a Masters of Divinity from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. I have an undergraduate degree in Government/Pre-law. I have special expertise in Church versus State issues. I have done intensive study in Baptist Doctrine and Eschatology. I can answer questions about separation of church and state, christian involvement in politics, what is the Baptist view on abortion, or capital punishment, who is going to heaven or to hell, what are the differences between the churches, why do Baptist immerse people, when is Jesus going to return, what are the signs of the end of time, is the battle of Armageddon going to come soon, and more! I am also co-author of the Book: The End of Days The Warning ISBN-13: 9781424199808 Check out our web site at http://www.theendofdaysthewarning.com
I am having a lot of issues with forgiveness. I am a born again Christian, and I have been so for about 5 years or so. But I am having problems forgiving people who have done me wrong in my life. Not that I haven't tried. I have tried very hard to forgive, but I just can't force myself to do it. Some of the things these people did to me were horrible and still effect me today, to the point of which a day does not go by without me thinking about how I have been wronged. These people did me wrong not because I deserved it, but because they simply wanted to get their kicks out of hurting me unjustly. Lying to me, tricking me into doing things I didn't wish to do, etc., etc. I just can't forgive, no matter how hard I try. And I have tried and tried over and over again.
Jesus said that if we do not forgive those who have traspassed against us neither will God forgive our sins...does that mean that I'm not saved? Does that mean that God does not forgive my sins when I confess them to Him? Am I without God's forgiveness just because I am unable to seriously force myself to forgive many of the people who did me wrong. I know what Jesus says about forgiveness, and that I should pray for those who spitefully use me, like these people did. But I can't force myself to do it. I just can't, no matter how much I try, and part of it is because some of the things these people did to me still effect me to this day, on a day to day basis, 18 years later.
Am I unforgiven? Can I be forgiven? What am I to do? I have tried and tried to forgive from my heart, and I just can't do it. I can lie to myself and say that I forgive, but in reality I don't. I can't live a lie. I have to be honest to myself and realize that I still hate these people and wish they would all burn in hellll.
-Erik
Answer Blessings and thank you for your question.
Forgiveness is one of the hardest things we must do as Christians. People are evil sometimes. In my own life, I have been molested, abused, falsely accused, lied about and to. I have had people who have tried to ruin me and ultimately wish that I would die.
I have no idea what pain you have had to endure. I don't know how you were hurt. But, you are right when you say that God expects us to forgive. Man does not have the power to forget. We cannot let go or choose to take that memory out of our mind. But we are called to forgive.
Forgiveness is a process, a journey. It is not an overnight proposition.
One day a while back, a man, his heart heavy with grief, was walking in the woods. As he thought about his life this day, he knew many things were not right. He thought about those who had lied about him back when he had a job. His thoughts turned to those who had stolen his things and cheated him. He remembered those who had physically, emotionally and sexually abused him. He remembered family that had passed on. His mind turned to the illness he had that no one could cure. His very soul was filled with anger,
resentment and frustration.
Standing there this day, searching for answers he could not find,
knowing all else had failed him, he knelt at the base of an old oak tree to seek the one he knew would always be there. And with tears in his eyes, he prayed:
"Lord- You have done wonderful things for me in this life. You have
told me to do many things for you, and I happily obeyed. Today, you
have told me to forgive. I am sad, Lord, because I cannot. I don't
know how. It is not fair Lord. I didn't deserve these wrongs
that were done against me and I shouldn't have to forgive. As perfect as your way is Lord, this one thing I cannot do, for I don't know how to forgive. My anger is so deep Lord, I fear I may not hear you, but I pray that you teach me to do this one thing I cannot do - Teach me To Forgive."
As he knelt there in the quiet shade of that old oak tree, he felt
something fall onto his shoulder. He opened his eyes. Out of the
corner of one eye, he saw something red on his shirt. He could not turn to see what it was because where the oak tree had been was a large square piece of wood in the ground. He raised his head and
saw two feet held to the wood with a large spike through them.
He raised his head more, and tears came to his eyes as he saw Jesus
hanging on a cross. He saw spikes in His hands, a gash in His side, a torn and battered body, deep thorns sunk into His head. Finally he saw the suffering and pain on His precious face. As their eyes met, the man's tears turned to sobbing, and Jesus began to speak.
"Have you ever told a lie?" He asked?
The man answered - "yes, Lord."
"Have you ever been given too much change and kept it?"
The man answered - " yes. Lord." And the man sobbed more and more.
"Have you ever taken something from work that wasn't yours?" Jesus
asked?
And the man answered, "yes, Lord."
"Have you ever sworn, using my Father's name in vain?"
The man, crying now, answered - "yes, Lord."
As Jesus asked many more times, "Have you ever"? The man's crying
became uncontrollable, for he could only answer - "yes, Lord."
Then Jesus turned His head from one side to the other, and the man felt something fall on his other shoulder. He looked and saw that it was the blood of Jesus. When he looked back up, his eyes met those of Jesus, and there was a look of love the man had never seen or
known before.
Jesus said, "I didn't deserve this either, but I forgive you."
When Jesus was being nailed to the cross he said, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."
It may be hard to see how you're going to get through something, but
when you look back in life, you realize how true this statement is.
If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.
I would encourage you to do two things:
1. Find someone you can talk to. Someone needs to help you, talk with you and pray for you. You cannot do this alone. You have a lot of hurt and it does need to be delt with.
2. Realize that God loves you. He loves you more than your unforgiveness. If you truly ask Him to save you and help you forgive, then He will.
3. Get the book: "Total Forgiveness" By R.T. Kendall ISBN-13: 9780884198895 This book helped me to forgive those who hurt and continue to hurt me.
I pray that the Lord will help you. Place your worries upon Him. May He bless you richly.
