Expert: Dr. (Rev.) Miles Bateman, USAF (retired) - 8/16/2008

Question
Dr. Rev. Bateman,

I am the Christian parent of a 7-year old little girl, and she has recently been asking me some pretty heavy questions about heaven, hell, and death and dying.

I'm not sure where her questions are coming from (when I ask, she says no one has said anything to her about death or hell). I have done my best to comfort her but I feel that I have not completely allayed her concerns.

I look forward to your feedback. Additionally, I'd also appreciate any Christian stories or DVD's that you can recommend because I know my child. She is the type of child that asks very tough questions (e.g "Why does God allow us to die if He loves us?") and she isn't easily satisfied.

She is very smart, but like most kids, she does better if she can read a book (if a book is read to her), or if she can watch a DVD.

I appreciate any information that you can provide. Thank you.

Aaron  

Answer
Hi Aaron! First let me congratulate you on raising such a bright and thoughtful child! Seven is a fun and challenging age!

Children today are exposed to vast amounts of information and they love to "know" things. Because of this you are in a position to influence what she believes about the world around her and that is an awesome responsibility, but it is also a tremendous blessing. Parenting is a tough business, when you get an opportunity like this, enjoy it!

First you need to examine your own beliefs about these subjects. If you try to put forward something that you don't believe, she will know it. If you try to put forward info you don't understand, she will catch on to that as well. Either may cause her to distrust you as a source of information in the future, so be careful to answer honestly.

Pray about this, examine yourself, research biblical answers and be open, afterall you are going to be her first resource to this information.

There is nothing wrong with answering "I don't know" to a question, as long as you follow up with a phrase like "maybe we can look into this together and we can both find an answer". Honesty, love and showing interest in her are what 7 year olds value from parents.

Of course the Bible should be your ultimate source document for answering these questions, but I would also recommend a few different resources to help out.

All Experts is a great source for individual questions. Focus on the Family has several videos that may be helpful to both you and your child, as does a company called bluefish TV. Some of these videos are available (free) online at Godtube. Godtube offers videos from several different ministries online and at no cost. I also would recommend a website called Answers in Genesis for some of the tougher questions.

Sunday School classes, Vacation Bible School, Church Camp and programs such as AWANA are also great resources that provide kids information in safe environments with other kids of her age group who may have similar questions. As with anything, check these out thoroughly before you expose your child to them.

Since your child seems to be a bit ahead of the curve intellectually, you might want to look into some of the info available to the age group just ahead of her. For instance, some of the videos bluefish TV have are geared toward pre-teens, but the basic information maybe helpful in answering follow on questions she may have, screen them yourself and see what you can use to help her.

I would also highly recommend the Clergy at your local Church. Pastors, Elders, Sunday School teachers, Youth Group leaders etc... They are a tremendous source of information and guidance. Often they are aware of resources,conferences or programs that deal with specific issues facing children in your area.

Finally let me just say that no one knows all of the answers, if we did we wouldn't need God. Don't beat yourself up if she asks something that you have no clue about, that is actually a sign that you have been a successful parent who has raised a bright and curious child! Rejoice in your success!

Look at this as an adventure that the two of you get to share in. Finding answers to these questions is going to be a blast and a bonding experience that will create a lifetime of memories! Congratulations and have fun, you are truly blessed!

Keep the Faith! MBB