AboutDr. (Rev.) Miles Bateman, USAF (retired) Expertise I am retired from the United States Air Force (20 yrs.), I have a Ph.D in Biblical Studies (Theology) and I recently retired as a Baptist Minister (20 yrs.). I am President/C.E.O. of Miles Bateman Ministries and I host a television/internet program called Christian Commentary ( Charter Cable and Youtube). I also serve as a Chaplain with the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. I prefer questions from teenagers, people in trouble, atheists and agnostics. I deal with alot of veterans and I have a special insight into helping them. I have a heart for reaching the lost with the good news of Jesus Christ.
Experience Over 20 years in Ministry. I have served as a Pastor, Elder, Youth Minister, Chaplain and Missionary. I also have 20 years experience in the military dealing with all walks of society.
Organizations Veterans of Foriegn Wars (Life Member), Billy Graham Rapid Response Team Chaplain, Licensed/Ordained Baptist Minister.
Publications Illinois State Senate Invocation, Illinois House of Representatives Invocation, Libertarian National Newspaper, Illinois Libertarian State Newspaper, Trenton Sun, Belleville News Democrat, St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Clinton County News
Education/Credentials I have a Ph.D in Biblical Studies/ Theology, a Bachelor of Arts in Sociology, Associate degrees in Management and Health Sciences and I was a credentialed USAF Instructor prior to retirement.
Awards and Honors Aerial Achievement Medal, Meritorious Service Medal, Air Force Commendation Medal (3 oak leaf clusters), Air Force Achievement Medal(3 oak leaf clusters), Global War on Terrorism Medal, Armed Forces Expeditionary Medal (bronze star), Humanitarian Service Medal, and 5 Air Force Good Conduct Medals
My husband and I have been married for almoste 6 years and it has been a rocky six years. I feel like I am trapped in a basically loveless and lackluster marriage. I have tried my best to please him, but I can never do enough for him. He has a business that he wants ME to work on day and night. I have a full time job and have to pay most of most of his bills and I can barely pay my own, but he doesn't care. As long as his bills are paid I won't have to deal with so much hell from him. He always tells me how unattractive I am and that his mother has that I dress old and that I look old. He claims that his girl friend and guy friends say the same things to him. His father and his Aunt have been nothing buy nice to me our whole marriage, but according to him that also think I look older than what I am. He is 41 and I am 31. I can see where I look like I'm 50 compared to him, but if you factor in that fact that he refuses to keep a full time job so we can pay our bills and live, and I'm stuck with 3 jobs and he makes me work on his business until 3-4:00 am in the morning and then I'm back up for work at 8:00 I guess I would look a bit older. He is killing me and wearing me out. He complains about my clothes all the time. He says that I'm not "fly" enough. I ask you, is it fair for him to say anything to me about new clothes when he refuses to keep a steady job and he spends every dime that I make on his bills and clothes and leave me nothing. He use to argue about us having seperate bank accounts because my pastor at the time who counseled us before we got married made it clear to him that we are to have all our finances together. Everytime I got paid,as soon as my money would hit the back half of it would be gone because he would write checks non-stop and use his bank card to buy things that he wanted and all of that would bounce. So here I am with only 400.00+/- dollars to get by and pay the rent and so forth. I would ask him not to do that, and his reply was "I deserve nice things so I'm going to get what I want" I feel like I was really screw over by my former pastor regarding that issue. He even wrote checks on my me and my mother's join account. He has no respect for me or anyone else as far as money is concerned. Things got to the point where I was having heart palpatations that were so violent I thought I was having a heart attack and I had to stay off from work. He had me so nervous and sick I couldn't do anything but lay on the couch or the floor all do long. Any movement I made use to really mess with my heart. Aside from him putting me down about my clothes, looks, acne, and the fact that I don't make as much money as his friend's wives that have been in the government for 15-20 years he will not have any kind of intimate relationship with me. I have been in a practically sexless marriage for 6 years. It was once every two months and currently it has been once going on 7 months. He has stayed out all night long and he get angry when I ask where he was and who he was with. He has been gone all night and part of the next day twice since we were married. He said his car was towed, but I can't see a grown man not contacting his wife and a day in a half. Then when I asked him about what happend the story always changed slightly. The first time his car was towed and Arlington because he went to see one of his "friends" the next time I casually brought it up he was towed from Springfield. There are two different places and when I confronted him about the change in the story he blew up as usual. I have found a woman's high heal pump in his car wedged between the floor and front console. That they were doing in order for a shoe to be wedges in that like I can only imagin! He had a story for that too. He called his cousin to tell me that he knew nothing about the shoe and that it must have been his cousin's friends shoe. Even if that were true and the shoe was left it should have been wedged in to tight as to almost hide it from sight. Recently he has been sending nasty text messages to some girl. I took his phone and looked at his text messages going out. Again he claims he know nothing about it. He said " I don't even have texting on my phone." I told him that was a lie, because just the month before he make it a big to do to get unlimited texting and if he'd the only who uses his phone then he's the only one texting nasty messages that girl whoever she is. I'm sure it's his girlfriend. He said that he has never cheated on me since we've been married but I don't believe it. I have found too much evidence that say otherwise. Is it biblically true that you can't divorce your husband unless you have 100% physical evidence and proof that he has been cheating on you? Rev. Bateman, you tell me if I'm wrong, but if a man marries a woman and he only has sex with her 6 to 0 times a year, that that is not normal and chances are that he's getting it from some other woman. After all I try to talk to him about this stuff but he could care less. He told me that he just loves sex...so I said to myself I'm sure you do, just not with me. So, I feel like I'm biblically trapped in a bad marriage with someone who really doesn't want me and just wants to use me up until he kills me or I have a heart attack or stroke and I am no good to anyone or myself. I know when you marry it is until death do you part. So am I suppose to continue to suffer with this man and just hope and pray for relief from him in my own death or his death. That is so hard to swallow,but from what I've read and studied in the bible with others that is what I'm doomed to deal with. I need to forget my sanity and happiness and live a miserable life in order to do God's will because he hates divorce. God is the only one that I want to please in life, but living like this is so hard. I wanted children when I got married and I saved myself. I feel like a saved myself for nothing. He said he doesn't want any children with me at all. He has a 14 year old and he could care less that I have no children at all. Before we got married, he said he wanted children but like many of his stories that has also changed. I've tried to start losing weight and dressing a little better where I can, since my financial situation isn't as bad as it use to be and I've dropped 30 pounds. He doesn't comment on any positive things that I try to do to please him. The only thing he was able to tell me was that I look 50 years old the other day, mind you that was because I got a total of 9 hours of sleep doing everything for his business while he watches TV and barks out what he wants done. He doesn't know how to do anything except knock down a woman of God who is trying to make the best out of a messed up situation. I believe the thing that really hurts me the most besides all the insults and put down and no intimacy and no money is that when I asked him what I could do to be a better wife he told me nothing and that he couldn't ask for a better wife, but when he looks at me he could only see me being married to a preacher and not to him. If that's the case, do you have any idea why he would have married me? Please give me some insight on divorce and remarriage considering my situation. P.S. he has told me twice this month that he wants to move into an apartment without me. For someone who brings home $500+/- a month I don't know how he's going to afford an apartment unless he has a girlfriend that's going to help him out with the rent. He refuses to help me pay the rent which is 1190.00 and that's not including utilities, or any of his other bills. I guess maybe he has some one on the side that makes a lot more money than I do and I guess she looks better in his eyes. Sometimes I use to wish for death at the age of 28-30. If it weren't for my fear of going straigt to hell for self murder I probably would have gone through with it. There are no provisions in the bible for divorce and remarriage if you have someone who treats you like a dog. You just have to suffer and deal with it until one of you dies. I no longer wish for death. I want to live a good life, and if he leaves me I'll be hurt, but what do I have now... nothing. If he leaves that will be a hugh financial burden lifted off of me, not to mention the lack of any kind of physical human contact, emotional, and verbal abuse. I am living a hard life trying to do what the bible tells me to do. God did not entend for man to not work, not touch his wife, insult his wife, steal from his mother-in-law, cheat on his wife, text dirty messages to women other than his wife, live apart from his wife, he won't wear his wedding ring at all, deny his wife any children, and belittles his wife because of acne. He carries a picture of his son in his wallet, but told me that basically I don't look good enought for him to carry a picture of me in his wallet. I was taught to treat others as you would have them treat you and to turn the other cheek. I try to do just that and I get walked on like a dirty welcome mat. I wish I had a husband that loved me and wanted to do nice things for me. I cry just about everyday on my way back home from work. I cry and talk to God. I don't even like going to church any more. I get there and I can't control the tears and there is too much of an emotional/spiritual that comes from me that I have never experienced in my young life until I got married. It is a bit embarrassing to me, but when I get to chruch I can never control it. It is like something strong just takes over me and I can't control it or myself. My husband actually came to church with me one time and service was going on and I got so emotional I couldn't control myself yet again. I tried but I couldn't. For some strange reason, when church was over and I was going to my car and he was going to his car he stopped me and told me to meet him down the road at the 7/11. I did and he admitted that he has treated me wrong and that I don't deserve to be treated the way he treats me. He said he was going to try to be a better husband and that I'm a good wife. I'm guessing God convicted him in church, but he went right back to his same old ways within a few days. Help me, pray for me, and give me some christianly advise as to what I should do and what your thought are regarding what I have told you. I try my best to serve God. If I had know that marriage was horrible like this, I would have stayed single and I'm sorry that I apparently married someone that doesn't care about my feelings at all. All he cares about is how I can benefit his business and if I don't jump when he says jump dealing with business concerns, he gets an attitude with me and becomes angry. HELP ME!
Hi Rachel! It seems that you are in a very difficult position, but not an impossible one. God is for you, so no one can stand against you and I would love to help you.
My first concern is your health... You have got to get more sleep and ease up on your schedule, you are overworked and that is adding to your stress level. MAKE TIME to sleep and rest!
God wants you to be happy and healthy and to have life more abundantly, that cant happen while you are burning the candle at both ends...Take care of yourself before you try to take on anything else.
Eight hours of sleep, three good nutritious meals per day, 30 minutes of exercise and you will see your world with different eyes!
31 year olds should look like 31 year olds- you deserve to be happy and healthy.
On to your marriage, God's word generally discourages divorce, however it does make exceptions based on situations and circumstances. It is hard to tell if your situation meets those criteria- it very well might, but I am only hearing your side of the argument and not your husbands- so it is difficult to say with certainty. I will pray about this with you and I will try to help in any way that I can.
If the situation is as you've described, I would tell you that you are not being loved by your husband and that he is mistreating you and violating the vows of your marriage. If that is the case, he and not you, is responsible for the state that your marriage is in, God commands the husband to be the chief Priest and protector of the family and to love you as God loves the church.
The failure here would rest on him, not you. Of course, All of us are sinners and fall short of the glory of God, the question here for you is can you look past his failures and forgive him or has his sin caused a rift too deep to repair. That is the question that you need to take to God.
God loves you and he only wants the best for you. In your life, your relationships and in your dealings with others. That is what love is...Our father will not forsake you or leave you no matter what you decide.
You can continue to contact me here or via my regular e-mail account (batemanm@hotmail.com). I am concerned about you and if there is anything that I can do to help, just let me know.
I am praying for you Rachel and I know that God has you and your concerns near to his heart. Jesus loves you and so do I. May God bless and keep you Rachel!
You are loved!
','President and C.E.O. Miles Bateman Ministries'))