Expert: Cooper P. Abrams III - 3/14/2009

Question
Hi Pastor Abrams-

I feel conflicted- I stopped witnessing to my sister-in-law out of frustration and I'm using Matthew 7:6 as my reason for stopping.  I would like to know if you think I'm right or wrong.

Background:  My SIL is a single mom of 2 and we're pretty close friends.  Every time she goes through a break-up with a guy she was steady with (that she's always met in a bar) she gets *very* depressed and stays in bed all day, neglecting her kids (emotionally) for weeks.  

I have consoled her and lead her to put her faith in Christ. I would coddle her for weeks, pray with her and for her and trying to come up with new spiritual words of wisdom for her constantly. It's emotionally draining on myself and-sadly-it sometimes affects how I treat my husband when I get home (I have much less patience).  But she would eventually go to church with us, stop cursing, stop social drinking and life is great. Things look up again.  

Then she would stop going to church with me, start cursing (etc., etc.), and she'll find another guy in a bar, go steady, break up.... and it starts all over again.  And I go through the same spiritual coddling with her again, she's in church with us again.  Etc.

Well it's about that time again and I've just simply sent my regards to her.  To be honest, I've been politely shunning her as I almost feel insulted that all my past efforts seem wasted. Should I attempt to have her turn to Christianity yet again?

I want to be a good servant.

Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

Answer
Hi Rachel,
    I fully understand your situation.  Many Christians find themselves in the same circumstances.   It is awful hard to love someone and see them rejecting the Lord and destroying their lives.
    The key is that you love your sister and want God's best for her.  That means you cannot give up on her.  Your interaction with her will certainly be effected and will govern your relations with her, but even if you have to crib your companionship with her you continue to seek her salvation.
    In such situations you keep praying for the loved one and tactfully try to help them.   However, once you have repeatedly witnessed to a person they know what they should do.   So you simply show them you love them and let them know you will be their for them and they can call on you.   Often our repeated advice or witness is resented so the thing to do is to wait for them  open up and seek you help.
   I do not think Matthew 7:6 applies because this verse was addressing the Jewish hypocrite who were jealous religious but who were rejecting Jesus Christ.   It does in principle apply to those who claim to be religious or Christians, but remain in sin and rejecting God's  truth.   It does not appear you sister is saved and should be treated like any lost person who needs the Lord Jesus Christ as their Savior.
   I hope this helps.  Stick by your sister, show her love, and let her come to you.   Probably no one is praying for her or concerned for her soul but you.   Do not give up on her and the Lord ability to save her.
Cooper Abrams
Romans 12:1-2