Expert: Dr. Billy Kryger - 3/9/2009

Question
I am married have been for almost three years. my husband and I have bee together for 11 years. The whole time we were together he made me feel like I was nothing. I had two abortions because he said I dont't want kids by someone like you. He really hurt me alot. I prayed and couldn't see myself leaving. I got my life right with the lord and seem like he kinda got worse but I kept praying then he got a little better. I did cheat on him because he showed me no love or affection he didn't want me to touch him or anything. But yet I still married him thinking he was going to change. He did for a while then he went back to his old ways. Towards the end of 2008 I decided to give my life back to the Lord he made my life hell.He stop paying bills and always talked about me like I was nothing I finally got fed up and made him leave. I wanted us to get some help he said no. Then we tried to work it out again the I said something he didn't like and he stop talking to me yet again he wrote me a very nasty E-mail and told me to move on with my life. When I started to do that he started calling again saying sorry and he will change he prayed about it and he know he was wrong. I do forgive him but I am so scared to let him back into my life and in my heart. Over the last 11 yrs this is what he has been doing I am so confused I don't know what I want I don't even know if I still love him. If I don;t let him back is that a sin will God look down on me because I don't want to keep going through the pain and heart that this man has caused me? I know I cheated on him there is no excuse but I did to feel loved by another man what should I do I'm tried of being stress out because all this is going on I can't get closer to God and I keep going backward please help.

Answer
Tonia:
    I guess my first question is why would you marry someone who for eight years "made you feel like you were nothing"?  That being said, you are married now and I don't believe the Bible condones divorce.  After 11 years of pretty much the same treatment, though, I would venture to say that things are probably not going to get better aside from a mighty working of God.  All I can tell you to do is continue to pray that the Lord will work on his heart.  I have seen God do some tremendous miracles in repairing marriages.  I will certainly be praying with and for you.