Expert: Cooper P. Abrams III - 3/19/2009

Question
I'm beginning to study to become a Roman Catholic and am wondering if it is a sin to have sex before marriage even if it is consensual and with someone you have dated for a long time, therefore not making it out of lust.

Answer
Hi Sally,
  Thank your for you question and I will try to help you with it.
The Bible uses the term "fornication" which refers to the incontinence or lewdness of unmarried persons, male or female; also, the criminal conversation of a married man with an unmarried woman; adultery; incest; a forsaking of the true God and worshiping of idols (Webster).

      Fornication could also be defined as "the gratification of sexual appetites without respect to marriage or the necessity of God's approval." The Bible uses this term as a general description for immorality.   Please note what God says about the sin of fornication in His word the Bible:

     Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
     Matthew 15:19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:
     Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
     Acts 15:20 But that we write unto them, that they abstain from pollutions of idols, and from fornication, and from things strangled, and from blood.
     Acts 15:29 That ye abstain from meats offered to idols, and from blood, and from things strangled, and from fornication: from which if ye keep yourselves, ye shall do well. Fare ye well.
     Acts 21:15 And after those days we took up our carriages, and went up to Jerusalem.
     Romans 1:29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,
     1 Corinthians 5:1 It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife.
     1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
     1 Corinthians 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
     2 Corinthians 12:21 And lest, when I come again, my God will humble me among you, and that I shall bewail many which have sinned already, and have not repented of the uncleanness and fornication and lasciviousness which they have committed.
    Galatians 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
    Ephesians 5:3 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;
    Colossians 3:5 Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:
    1 Thessalonians 4:3 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:
    Revelation 9:21 Neither repented they of their murders, nor of their sorceries, nor of their fornication, nor of their thefts.

        Like adultery, fornication is also used in a spiritual sense to describe turning from God to serve false gods (Ezek. 16:29-34; Rev.2:21; 14:8; 17:2,4; 18:3; 19:2). The Greek word translated fornication is porneia, from which the English word "pornographic" is derived.

        Sex which is approved by God is limited to the relationship of a husband and wife in the commitment of marriage. Sex outside or before marriage has many destructive results. It cast a shadow over the couple's relationship in that they have had shared themselves in the most intimate way with someone else. It is only truly special when both the husband and wife have given themselves wholly to the no other. Pre-marital sex, sex with other persons robs the couple of the intimacy that God designed them to have with each other. It weakens the bond they should have between each other.

        Couples who wait for marriage to have sex have a much better chance of having a lasting and happy marriage. There can be a better commitment to someone to whom you know has only been intimate with you. Many people deeply regret they cheapened themselves and their marriage by sex before marriage. The gave up something truly precious for a moment's fleeing passion.

        Of course there is the risk of disease. Sexually transmitted diseases are never a problem for those who only have relations with their chaste spouses.

        Sex outside of marriage also has a detrimental effect on a person in that it cheapens it. A person who has had multiple partners loses the specialness of the sexual union.

        Sex in its proper function as God intended it is of one giving oneself in love for the other, not simply self gratification. (Eph. 5) When properly experienced it is emotionally and physically gratifying to both partners and that is how God intended it to be.

     I am also concerned about you knowing how a person is saved, has their sins forgiven and receives eternal life.   God has a clear plan of salvation and it is plainly states in God's word.

     Would you take a few minutes and read the article at http://bible-truth.org/gospel.html  Please look up each Bible passage and read it for yourself.   I would ask you then to compare that to what the Roman Catholic church teaches.   I would like to help you find true salvation.   After you read the article I am sure you will have questions.  Please write again.  You can write me directly at cpabrams3@gmail.com.  Your emails will be keep confidential.   I have a web site at http://bible-truth.org where you can find many articles addressing most questions that people have.   The reason I am mentioning this is that the Roman Catholic church has many serious doctrinal errors and false teachings.  I do not want you to be misled.  This is why I ask you to read the scriptures for yourself so you can make the comparison.
    Thank you again for writing and I hope this has helped.
Cooper Abrams
Bible Truth
http://bible-truth.org