Expert: D.David - 5/2/2009

Question
Help!

I'm at wits end with my wife!

We are good Baptists. However, my wife controls our finances. She has gotten me into serious debt a number of times. Yet she won't let me oversee my own finances! It sounds crazy, I know. I'v etold her over and over agin that I can't take it anymore. But, controlling our money is something she simply can't give up. Once in awhile she will give me a budget plan she devises listing most (but not all) of our debts and monthly expenses. I've even talked to my wife's parents about this problem, but they refuse to do anything about it either.

What do I do?

Answer
Hello Brison,

Thanks for you question. You sound just like me. I too had face these kind of situation but then things changed. I would like to suggest a few ideas that would help.

1. When you get paid, make it a point to bring your wage slips on the table and pray before you decide what you want to do. Pray that God will enable you to use His money which He provided in a way which will bring Honor and Glory to His name.

2. Set aside finances for the most necessary items for you home. Try to minimize the quantity of items you buy and go for a little bit  economic stuff. Look for a little bit of cheaper things and replace them with fewer in number. Sometime back we happened to see the terrible living conditions of the people in the third world countries and began to thank God for the many undeserved privileges that we have, remind each other of God's promises and His providence.

3. Try and invest your finance in something worthwhile, like sponsoring a child in Asia of one of the Africian countries. As a family we had sponsored many children, our first sponsored child had sent us a Christmas card and it brought so much joy and encouragement that we started putting finances aside to sponsor another and another.

4. Set aside your Tithe, your church needs it. When you give your means to God, He will multiply it and send it back to you. Spend some time with your family and speak to your wife specially about how you feel and be frank to express your concern.


These are just a few things that I had tried and it worked for me. Also remember to pray at all times, reminding ourselves that life is more than food and clothing.

God bless and take care, Will pray for you and your family.

Please keep in touch if you need more help.