Expert: Clive Heath - 7/14/2009

Question
I've been a porn addict for about 7 years now. I've been indulging myself in it in spite of the fact that I knew the Holy Spirit was impressing me to do the opposite.(Give it up). I didn't heed his voice until at last I felt Him leave me. I have had severe headaches and burning sensations in my head for about 2 weeks, and a lot of vulgar, evil thoughts running through my head until now I feel that my head has been rewired. I also felt a strong confusion. I want forgiveness but I don't seem to be able to ask for forgiveness and believe that I've recieved it. It seems like I've lost my ability to worship the Lord. Have I been given over to a reprobate mind? Will the Holy Spirit ever touch me again. I'm only 25, and this happened just a couple of months after my first real conversion experience. I also feel the presence of what I think are evil spirits at night, but strangely, do not feel alarmed.
I want forgiveness and I repent daily, but to no avail. Will I ever sense the Lord's presence again?

Answer
Hi Maxwell,

You are a very brave man to write and admit to this addiction.

All addictions are hard to give up but it can be done, as you will see. The Lord and the Holy spirit will never leave you, what you have to do is open your heart again to him. But at the same time you have to go back to him and search for him, as it says in the book of Jerimiah "seek me with all your heart and you will find me".
You have let your addiction take you over at the cost of your belief in God, see it as a test, as we are all tested at times, and at these times we get confused. You may have had this addiction for 7 years but you are still young and have your whole life in front of you, also remember that you may feel that you are the only one but you are not. You can move on from this.
From what you say you are already repenting,if you are really sorry then you will have already been forgiven, but you have to address these evil vulgar thoughts.
Put your trust in the Lord and talk to him every day and more if these evil thoughts enter your head, as I said he is still with you but you have to find your way bak to him.
Try this prayer, "Dear God, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dieing on the cross for me and my sins.I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord.Thank you Lord for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the person You want me to be"
AMEN