Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 2/21/2010

Question
I was raised in Catholic family, in a country that had a compulsory Catholic religion classes from the very begining of elementary school. Had been baptized as a child, also recieved first communion. My family had not been practising, we basically went to church mostly during easter holidays and on a few random occasions through the year. I have never been attracted to Catholic Church and many of it's teaching (ie. confession of sins to a priest) and as a result of it being the only "right" doctrine I have departed from God, never truly knowing His Word or love. 5 yrs ago I travelled for work to a muslim country, where I've found love that I was looking for - in a man. God in His grace and wisdom had found a way to me - trough Him. We've been in a relationship for over two years. We've been previously fornicating - both before our relationship and with each other. Our relationship started as any other, but during that time I turned to God and both of us relationship with the Lord grew stronger and deeper, and keeps growing still. We fast, we pray, worship, read the Word. He's been attending baptist churches with his family before (move a lot - military family). I've found that baptist churches in general are what I have been looking for. Our only resource here is internet, and we actively seek sermons on-line.. We live together for almost two years now, share our income and expenses. We stopped fornicating as it is our desire to be obedient to God, and show Him our grattitude for our blessings. We want to get married. Only thing that restrains us is our financial situation. We do not want great ceremony, it is about God and us, ideally I would like to have our closest family present. But living here, there's only # churches in a country, all of them Catholic -
1. I do not find it right nor honest to get married in church of denomitation we do not approve
2.  all churches in a region (not only a country) require extremely high fees for marriage in addition to all embassies/permits fees.
3. we're under different visa regulations, as we are citizens of different countries, therefore it is better for us to be legally unmarried at the moment..


So how do we get married?
Is it possible to be married by pastor but not pursue legal aspects?
Could getting legally married and exchanging vows in front of God with a witness be valid in eyes of God?
If we financially manage to go to U.S. to get married over the summer - could we find a baptist Church/Pastor that would marry us withouth long counselling or marry a couple that is not a member of his Church?
Is there any other solution you see?
Thank you

Answer
Hi Marta,

Thank you for this great question.  I am so glad that you both have found faith in Jesus Christ.  I am glad that you are determined to remain pure and do right.  I am not an expert on the laws in your country.  I know that if you were in the USA there are some Baptist churches that would marry you as long as your imigration status would not prohibit it.  As far as I know in Connecticut, the only thing I need to document is that the marriage took place in the city in which the licence was obtained.  It only costs $25 for a licence.  Again, I do not know if you have to be residents of the state, but I do not think that this is a requirement.

I hope that this is a help to you.

I am praying for you.

In Christ
Pastor Don