Expert: Dr. Ronald E. Shultz - 9/22/2010

Question
Hi Dr. Shultz,

You were very helpful in helping me with a previous question, so I thought I'd see if you could help me with a dilemma.  Specifically, can you help me reconcile 1 John 3:17-18 with 1 Timothy 5:8?  The reason I ask this is because of a family in my church.  The family consists of an elderly widow and the 5 grandchildren she is trying to raise on her own.  It has come to my attention that they are having severe money problems- to the point of maybe losing their house.

I recently received an unexpected check and would like to give this to them along with money from my savings.  My family is not rich by any means.  We have a baby and a recently purchased but older home that needs repairs.  I won't lie, as a husband and father I worry about taking this money from my family to give to others.  If I were just a single guy I would have no problem giving them much more than I could afford, but the fact that I have responsibilities to my own family gives me pause.  How do I interpret 1 Tim. 5:8 with my wanting to help this family?

Thanks.

Answer
Howdy, Aaron!   The Bible also says that he that does not provide for hisown is worse than an infidel.  The key is balance.   That you have the concern is wonderful.  Most people would pray for them and that is it.  As you said, you have a family as well and if you end up in the same state as this widow woman because you gave all the money God gave you then your good would be offset by the bad that it would bring upon your family.  If a brother has no blanket and you have extra and do not help them then you have violated 1 John.

Widows indeed are to be helped by the church.   If she has absolutely no one to help her than you need to talk to your pastor and see if they have a benevolence fund.  If so, pray with your wife about an amount that God would want you to give.  He looks at your heart and not the amount.  If you and your wife both come up with a certain amount than that is most likely what God wants you to give. If both of you come up with the whole amount of the check, fine.  She needs to be a part of this.  It is good for her sense of security and her faith as well as a check and balance so that you do not just act out of your emotions and do something God never asked you to do.

I would then give that to the Church benevolent fund after you have spoken to the pastor about it.  Three reasons.  One, the church needs to get involved with this woman's and the kid's sakes.  They need to reach out to her, not just you.  Also, this keeps the gift anonymous for your pride's sake and to have her look to God and not to you for future needs.   

May God grant you great wisdom and discernment and provide for your family and this widow!   Blessings and peace be unto you!