Expert: Rev. Stuart Woodward - 11/8/2011

Question
when your wife puts her children and her grandchildren ahead of the husband, is she out of order?

Answer
Hello Rory,
Thank you for your question. The bible has little to say directly about the question you ask but indirectly there are some clear principles. Ephesians 5:21-33 is the most clear passage on husband and wife relationships. Here we are told to submit to one another - wife to husband recognising his headship and husband to wife in extreme love and provision. A marriage is a mutually submissive partnership in which decisions are made together and as a team a life is built that is totally dependent on each partner. This includes the raising of children.
Yes, I believe the marriage relationship should come even before the obligation to children, as children grow most securely when they have no doubts as to the strength of the relationship between parents. So then either husband or wife needs to put their relationship first but so that they are better placed to bless others. Similarly a husband must put his wife before his work or his favourite pastimes.
Some time ago Charles Swindoll wrote a book on married life called 'Strike the Original Match'. I heartily recommend that you try to get a copy and read it with your wife.
I hope my comments are of some help and that God will bless and lead you.
Stuart Woodward