Expert: Cooper P. Abrams III - 3/5/2011

Question
I have been married for seventeen years Married at eighteen years old we have children together and have raised our children in the Baptist Church, My important question is that my Wife has been unfaithful through the course of our marriage on many occasions I have forgiven her yet she continues to be unfaithful and is asking for a divorce. Will I be held accountable for ending the marriage? I did tell my wife I can forgive her for her dishonesty and infidelity yet she doesnt want to even see me. Our kids are greatly effected by this How can I go on with my Wife if she doesnt have the Faith? I am unhappy Hurt and in pain which I know will heal over time How do I face my church as a divorced Man?
Thank You in advance I will be looking forward to your response and your time is greatly appreciated. Monroe

Answer
Hi Monroe,
 I certainly understand your frustration, hurt and pain.  There is not an easy solution, but as to your question will you be held accountable for ending the marriage the answer is found in 1 Corinthians 7:10-40.  Verse 11 and 15 which allows for separation.   In other words a Christian does not have to live in a marriage that is abusive, which means physically and also mentally as well.    The stigma of being divorces is real, but when infidelity has been prevalent for years people understand.   Divorce does hurt all concerned, but God will not hold you accountable for what you did not do.  You seem overly willing to forgive and try to save your marriage, but the reality is if she is not willing your hands are tied.
 Playerfully, do as you feel the Lord is directing you and honor the Lord in all you do.  Showing bitterness or anger will not help and also criticizing your wife to others.  Others and your children know the situation and they will respect you if you handle this in a what that the Lord would have you.
 I do wish you well and pray that the impact of this  will be minimal.
Cooper Abrams
Bible-truth.org
Romans 12:1-2