Expert: Mrs. Priscilla Lyons - 3/8/2011

Question
QUESTION: Our Question;
We have been looking for a bible based church to belong to, and have actually looked at Baptist. I have one concern; women in ministry.
Not allowed at all? In any form?
Not for myself, but my 12 year old daughter. She loves the Lord and wants to minister someday. Maybe not as a pastor, but wants to teach and minister to young people in their teenage years. Is there positions in the Baptist faith for women to do ministry as a career and in what capacity?
I do not want to get into our full history, but left our Catholic faith and have been searching for  good bible based church, having difficulties finding one that is about God and not self. So many today have their own agenda. We try very hard to study and work in the KJV/NKJV. Love the beliefs and teaching of His Word. Know the limits to women as a head of the church body, but also know that women served even Jesus through ministering to Him.
We would greatly appreciate any help that you can help us with.

Thank you,

Steve and Erin

ANSWER: Dear Steve and Erin,
   Thanks for writing.  I commend your spiritual journey with God's Word as guide and measuring tool for all your decisions.  
   Baptist churches can be very different from each other, depending on what the pastor/congregation wants to emphasize, but usually Baptist congregations are more involved in ministry and are more inclined to choose their own area of ministry than other denominations.  
   I think one way to find a church that shares your interest in God's Word is to attend a Wednesday evening service, or home groups that study the Bible.
   Southern Baptists have a national standard of no women pastors over men, but even Southern Baptist churches vary some on that, as do other Baptist churches.  Southern Baptists are known for "autonomy of the individual," but that's not an iron clad rule either.  
   While I personally believe the most common plan God has for individuals is to minister together as man and wife, obviously there are exceptions.  With the feminization of our culture and making husbands irrelevant, unnecessary and even counterproductive for government subsidies, I think the church needs to stand firmly for God's protective role of husband leadership, and encourage full-time, nurturing mothers to raise disciplined, God-fearing children.  Your parenting is better than most because even a lot of Christian parents have children out of control that don't care for God or church.  
   If you find a group of people willing to study and follow the Bible like you are, then your daughter will be encouraged to walk in the works God has ordained for her.  Ephesians 2:10
   We live in a sparsely populated place, so it's hard to find very many people like yourselves.  Our daughter and her family live in a fast-growing area, so their church has grown to consider three services or plant a new church.  Your location will have its own limitations or not in finding a suitable church, but God will help you find a church family, even though no church is going to be perfect.
   I'm encouraged whenever I learn of others who love the Lord and trust His will for their lives.  May the Lord richly bless you and others through you both and through your daughter.
   Sincerely,
   Priscilla


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you Priscilla,

We do follow the bible now in our faith. My husband tries very hard to follow his role in our family as the head, in all areas. With great support, from myself.

I homeschool our daughter and her schooling is bible based, with still meeting our states standards, by state law.

Does your church allow women to teach young adults and do women study with each other, or is it solely up to the husband to minister to their wife? And in turn teach my daughter, what he should be teaching me?

To be very honest, I study so much on my own, as my husband does not have the time to teach me, as much as I need or am drawn to. I spend (daily) several hours in the Word and studying the word. Being recently born again, I am trying to undo and relearn what I have to. I have been taught so many wrong teachings.

I am drawn to His Word as is our daughter.

I do believe God will lead her.

Neither of us feel comfortable with women as a pastor of a flock(but understand in some areas it maybe necessary, better someone than no one).

We have searched many churches out, and have truly not found one. Many to liberal or to convicting. It is discouraging. We recently moved with my husband's job and travel with him as well, as they (his company sees fit).

We are in Minnesota for the next 6 months. Many, Baptist churches. Is there a title of the church that could give us an idea? Like Bible Baptist, First Baptist and so one? Or is that too open to each individual church?

Wednesday evening; is it proper for my daughter and I to attend without my husband? He works late and can not attend a Wednesday serve? As are many Sundays not available to him, due to his employment.

When a husband's occupation takes him away from the social setting of a church gathering and also renders him to exhausted, to consistently teach and minister to his family, what should a wife and daughter do for fellowship and education?

I am sorry for so many questions, but I truly want to follow God's teachings and be obedient.

Thank you,

Submitted by Erin
with Steve's knowledge.

Answer
It might make more sense with your traveling to focus more on finding a homeschooling Christian family with whom you all can study the Bible, especially if their time schedule can accommodate your husband's schedule.

Some churches major on the minors, like apparel and music, instead of dealing with spiritual rebellion that can cause indecent apparel and music.  If a church encourages people to read the Bible every day and have a desire to know and follow the Lord, then differences in apparel and music (for example) don't really separate us that much.   

Often times, the church with the biggest Sunday morning crowd in town, will be the one that attracts the social elites and do-gooders who are more interested in their own self image rather than wanting to reflect God's image.

Our little church has a lot of help and input from women, but men have most of the responsibility.  Women do study together, teach children, give testimonies and share in the give and take in our adult Sunday School class, but these details are not necessarily a pattern for everyone.

Rather than being active in a church without your husband, it might be better to work toward a future when your husband's situation can change, and/or seek out Christian fellowship and education with a family (or families) who share your desire to know and follow Christ, and are flexible with your husband's time constraints.  With communication advances available to us (internet, cell phones, etc.) it should be easier to make contact with other Christians.  Homeschooling should also open a network that could lead in that direction.  I'll be praying that God opens doors for you, and gives you patience to handle all the wonderful things He is showing you.  

God's plan for us women can be frustrating sometimes, but I remind myself that God has given me eternity.  Everyone had to deal with limitations in this temporary life, but we have a promise of future fulfillment and glory we can't even imagine.

I wish more people would have your concerns and interests and would pass them on to the next generation like you are doing.  This world would be a better place, but we know that few find the Way to life (Matt.7:14).  All we can do is be faithful in the opportunities God gives us and stay in prayer for Him to work in us and through us.

Sincerely,
Priscilla