Expert: Mrs. Priscilla Lyons - 4/2/2011

Question
QUESTION: Hello,

For a long long time I've been in a spiritual battle between being a Christian and not.  I don't know if you'll be able to help me but it's worth a try.  
There is a part of me that knows God exists and wants to live the way he wants me to.  I have been doing a lot of research on how a Christian should live and trying to understand God. but there is another part of me that just wants to give up.
I was abused as a child, i usually don't come right out and say it like that but i just feel like i have to at this point.  I wasn't abused so much by my parents, but mostly by school teachers and students.  I never fought back, I never told anyone about what was going on, i was just silent.  Over the years i noticed that i became increasingly angry at people in general.  I have no friends, and I don't really desire to make any.  I have a really negative outlook on society and have very little faith in people.  I know this type of thinking is not healthy, but despite years of trying to change the way i think, i just can't.  I know God would want me to forgive the people who abused me but my heart is solid stone, and I've prayed about it but there is still no change.  I feel like people ruined my life, i was made to think that i was stupid while i was in school, but now that i am an adult i realize that i actually learn very well. but i can't go back and in time and start school over, so it's too late.  I'm stuck in a boring dead end job with no hopes of a good future.  when i think about this, i just can't understand why God would let this happen to me.  
other than all of this, i don't believe that i can live up to God's standards.  There is no way i will ever be able to be as perfect as he wants me to be so i feel doomed for hell.  I don't know what to do anymore, or how to change the way i think.  Hopefully you'll be the person that God is leading me to talk to.
thanks for having time for me
Amanda

ANSWER: Dear Amanda,
   I'm so glad you've written.  You are right on target about being divided in two.  Your awareness of this puts you ahead of most people who are content with their life.  The fact is this physical life is very short compared to eternity, so to ignore the division between our sinful nature and God's perfect salvation, leaves a person facing an eternity of suffering and pain, which is very foolish.  
   God has given us this short time to be aware of the battle between good and evil, and to choose to trust Him so we can live forever with Him where there is no sin, no evil, so no more tears, death, sorrow, pain, or crying (Revelation 21:4)
   You, more than many people, have felt the effects of sin.  When innocent people suffer, it teaches us one of the worst qualities of sin--injustice, but it makes us appreciate God's perfect justice.  Yes, that perfect justice condemns all us sinners to hell, but God's perfect love paid the price for our freedom from sin and hell--with His own perfect life on the cross.
   You are so right that you can't live up to God's standards.  There is no way we can be perfect, so, yes, we are all doomed for hell.  That is why God asks us to trust Him enough to surrender our life to Him, so He can remove the sin in us and live in us to give us the power and wisdom to change toward being like Him.  That is a never-ending job, but He wants to do that for us if we're willing to "die" to our SELF, our rights, our emotions, etc. and allow Jesus to be our Lord.  Read chapter 6 of Romans.  It describes water baptism as an outward sign of your willingness to have your sin nature buried so the resurrected life of Jesus in you can make you alive to God forever (saved from hell).
   Ephesians 2:8-10 "For by grace are you saved through faith; and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God; not of works, lest anyone should boast.  For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God has before prepared that we should walk in them."
   As a Christian, I mess up and have to ask God's forgiveness, but there are some commonsense habits that help me avoid the trouble sin causes me.  If I prioritize reading God's Word every day, recognizing that I need God's spiritual food just like I need physical food every day, and if I want to stay attached to Him and open to Him all through the day (prayer), then Satan has a harder time luring me into trouble.  Basically we have to rely on God, not on ourself, for fulfilling all the unique potential He created in us for this life and beyond.
   It is necessary for you to forgive those who have abused you in order for you to be able to receive God's forgiveness for your sins and receive His eternal life. Mark 11:26  You can only come to God through faith in His goodness and justice.  Romans 12:19 says "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord."  Remember, anyone who is unwilling to "die" to their sin nature and allow Jesus to live in them to be their Lord, will face a horrible eternity of pain forever.  That's what those who have abused you face (so you can feel sorry for them), unless they have repented of their sin and asked Jesus to live in them to be their Lord.  If they do have Jesus in them, then you should communicate with them so they can ask your forgiveness.
   Romans 12:1-2 gives us the way to change the way we think.  "I beseech you therefore brothers, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice (dead to our SELF, alive through Christ), holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.  And be not conformed to this world; but be transformed by the RENEWING of your MIND, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God."
   Remember this world is not all there is, but there's lots in it that can teach us about its Creator.  Romans 1:20  There are many amazing things right around us, if we "look" through God's eyes.  Go-girl!  I pray for a wonderful future for you!
   Write back any time.
   Love,
   Priscilla


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: What does it mean "to die to our self, our rights and emotions?"  that is the part i have problems with.  I don't think that it's possible because we would just be like zombies, and it doesn't sound very good.  I get so confused about what is acceptable to do and what is not.  How do i live a normal life if i have to be dead to myself?  It just doesn't sound possible.

Answer
Good question, Amanda.  Galatians 1:20 says, "I am crucified with Christ; nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ lives in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, Who loved me, and gave Himself for me."
   I have to believe that what God wants for me, as I learn from the Bible, is better than what I want for myself.  I sometimes want things that are harmful to me, but God always wants what is best for me.  I don't always do what is best, but if I want to follow God's will, then He will help me change little by little, correcting me when I go wrong, and loving me back close to Him.
   I may look at others and say I have a right to have just as much as they do, but God says in Matthew 6:33, "Seek first the kingdom of God (obey Him as King) and His righteousness (not our own goodness); and all these things (that we need) shall be added unto you."  A Christian's close relationship forever with the Creator of everything good, is worth more than any fame or fortune in this temporary world (Matthew 13:45-46 the pearl of great price), but living God's way even in this life has benefits.  God obviously doesn't want us to waste our money, time, and health with drugs, alcohol, smoking, overeating, etc., so we're ahead, even as we "give up" our rights to "do our own thing."  Our emotions can lead us into big-time trouble also, so it's best to ask God's help in draining away some of the toxic stuff, which will benefit our physical health as well as help us with our jobs, and our relationship with God.  
   Genesis 1:26 says God made us in His image, so our purpose in life is to reflect Him like our image in the mirror reflects us.  When we appreciate what He has made, including our bodies and unique personalities, we can use them better for His benefit, which, in turn, will work better for us than if we try to live our life for our SELF.
   God could have made us zombies or robots and forced everybody to be good, so nothing bad ever happened, but He gave us a choice because He wants us to obey Him with love and trust.  He won't force you to be good.  You have to be willing for Him to help you be good like He is, so you'll reflect His image.
   Mark 10:27 "With God all things are possible."
   Hope that helps.  If you find neat things in the Bible that you'd like to share, you can write even if you don't have a question.  The Bible is our guide about what is acceptable to do and what is not.  It is the most fantastic book!