Expert: Dr. Ronald E. Shultz - 8/8/2011

Question
I was reading your information on BC and I had a few questions. I am 23 and my husband is the same age. We have been in the AF for the last 3 years and have 3 left. He is a Firefighter. God has blessed us with 2 little girls already one is 3 the other 2. We have only been married for 4 years so both girls were suprises. We have always been taught that BC is a good thing and once you hit a certain number you tie your tubes or get a V. However for the last 4 years my husband and I have had a VERY hard time with that. We arent agreeing with the whole idea. Of course both of our parents are freaking out that we have 2 and could have more. They think we shouldve been done! We used the Mirena for the last year and a half and I was told by a christian Dr that it didnt cause abotions. However it took me a yr and a half to figure out that is exactly what it did. So we had it removed Late june (might I add I have tried tons of different bc before the mirena all of which did wierd things to my body and only later to find out each one ultimatly made the egg not implant and that to us is an abortion) , immediatly started Natural Family Planning. However we found out last week I was pregnant and this week that we lost it. Its Aug 8. SO I get pregnant super easy!  IDK how in the world the NFP got messed up but I def messed up.   Now I have incredibly hard pregnancies like Bed rest and I have early labor from 20 wks on out. Also my youngest daughter has something, right now their saying epilepsy, and a syndrome, but they dont know what syndrome yet.  

My question is what do we do, and when is too many too many. And what do we do for BC???  I just want to be totally right with the Lord, however we arent making a ton of money and some days we do good to function. In feb however we will be out of debt, Lord willing!!!  But still in this economy and for someone who gets pregnant VERY quickly what do we do!!!!!

Answer
As with all things, it comes down to what is believed about the Book. You have to determine what the Book says and what you believe about the Book and go from there.  Birth control is not mentioned in the Book except for when one man spilled his seed on the ground and God killed him. He wanted to have sex with his deceased brother's wife but did not want to raise up seed in his brother's name because it would have messed up his inheritance. He could have passed on being the one to do this but obviously he wanted to have sex with her. She must have been a hottie. Other than that women lived for the opportunity to have children and at least two are recorded as begging God for children and the more the merrier.

Sex is primarily about reproduction. It is the reproduction system, not the entertainment system.  God made sex pleasurable because as God had pleasure in creating Adam and Eve so should a man and woman enjoy making another human being as heirs together to the grace of life. I suspect that the pleasure also helped ensure that people would be using the system since they disobey every other command and it is highly probable they would have disobeyed that one as many do. We might have been more concerned about human extinction instead of seeking ZPG. People want the pleasure but want to circumvent the natural outcome of operating the system. Operating the reproductive system without expecting or wanting reproduction to occur is not logical. It is like eating food not expecting calories to have an effect on the fat stores or refusing to experience evacuation of the waste product.

The only perfect birth control is abstinence other than using other orifices not designed for reproduction and thus a misuse of those systems inviting other physical maladies. People have had children regardless of tubal ligation or even vasectomies.  One missionary couple I know was practicing two types of birth control and yet they had another child.  That turned out to be a blessing as they lost a child to cancer.  Many others have been told they could never have children and yet after they adopted one or more children they had one or more children of their own.

Again, the bottom line is you have to go to the Book and to God to get an answer. If I told you to abstain from sex until you went through menopause I suspect you would not like that and not be willing to do so. That indeed is the only perfect birth control. You will be at risk no matter what else you do. Some drugs, as you have learned, are not truly a contraceptive but rather an abortive. Also, as you have said there are many side effects. You are too young to have a hysterectomy and I would never condone any surgery not medically necessary so your options are limited.  

You say that you are a "fertile Myrtle" or easy to get pregnant. Why God allows some women to have a dozen children and others none I cannot tell you. One day He may reveal that when all is said and done. The Book says that He opens and shuts the womb and children are His reward. As I said I have known women who could never get pregnant suddenly come up pregnant after they adopt. Some women are promiscuous and never get pregnant, but a woman raped or seduced once gets pregnant. My son's wife is now pregnant after trying for four years and yet like you my daughter was a "fertile Myrtle" and has six kids. Only God can answer those questions.  

I understand the financial concerns as I had two children when I was in the USAF and made much less money than y'all do now as well as going through college and two rounds of unemployment.  Nevertheless God always provided for us.  

Your parents are upset and you are having a VERY hard time about it so maybe God answered your question before you asked me.  You have been taught that birth control is a good thing and maybe even told God gave us "common sense" but for everyone who would tell you those things others would tell you that it is not a good thing and God asked for faith in Him not faith in common sense.  

I leave you with two passages to prayerfully consider.

Rom 14:23 And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin. KJV

If you are not comfortable with your decision or sure that God is OK with it then you have to ask yourself and Him why. When you get the answer or have faith that your decision is within God's will than you will have peace.

2 Tim 2:15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. KJV

As I said, you can ask many people and get folks on both sides of the question therefore it is up to you to study and find God's answer to your questions and concerns. May God grant you wisdom and discernment as you seek His will in His Word.  Peace be unto you!