QUESTION: I intentionally created a child to be raised as a single parent several decades ago. I married nearly a decade later and that person was not the father of the child.
I have been a Christian for a long time now, deeply regret the paths I took, but love my child. I was married one time and now divorced, the elders declared that I may do so as it would be a biblical divorce and I would be as a widow.
Is it in line with scripture for me to marry again? Would we be disobeying God's word if we married, as he has never been married? He would be a committed husband, father, and spiritual leader. Both of us wish to live lives that honor God.
ANSWER: Hello Katherine,
Thank you for your question. You have obviously faced some tough times and some tough decisions. I hope my comments will be of some help to you. Genuine Christians have honest differences regarding the interpretation of scripture on this issue and it is important that you think through the issues carefully so as not to try to bend the bible to what you want. Certain questions are important to answer. Were you a Christian at the time of your marriage and divorce? What was the cause of your divorce? Depending on the answers to these questions various theologians will give different answers. If you were not a Christian at the time of your marriage and/or divorce then I honestly believe you are free to remarry. If the cause of your divorce was desertion by your husband or his sexual unfaithfulness then I believe you are free to remarry. However, there are teachers who would disagree with me.
In Charles Swindoll's book called 'Strike the Original Match', which is really about rekindling a marriage, he has a very good chapter on marriage, divorce and remarriage which you may find helpful. There is another book which is much more detailed called 'Divorce' by Iain Murray which you might also find helpful.
I pray that God will lead you forward and give you all the wisdom you need.
God bless you.
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QUESTION: The child was born ten years before I married. Thus this child was conceived outside of wedlock. Would that make it unbiblical to marry me. I understand what would be the reasons one can divorce and remarry. I was not sure if the child issue was addressed. Thank you.
I can see no reason at all why the child you bore should in any way prevent you marrying. It happened before you were a believer and the sin involved has long since been forgiven by God, both you and the child being deeply treasured by God. I hope this is helpful.