Baptists/God's view of relationships

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Question
Hello Pastor,
My name  is Anna and I am 27. When I was 18 I was married. My husband died in a car accident a short time later. We conceived a child together that my husband never got to meet. My son is now almost 7 years old. I have not dated at all since my husband died. I have been focusing on school and making a life for my child and I recently I have become worried about my son having a man in his life. A man recently asked me for a date. However I think dating him would be a sin as he is still married. He and his two children where abandoned by his wife. He thinks this means it would not be sinful to date him. Is it a sin? I know the Bible says until death so is abandonment a loop hole?

Answer
Hi Anna,

Thank you for this great question.  The Bible does allow for DIVORCE and remarriage if the divorce is caused by marital infidelity on the part of the spouse.

Matthew 19:39 (AV)
3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

HOWEVER... if he is not yet divorced and willing to turn on his marriage vows... perhaps this gives you a glimpse into his real character.  You have to wonder, why did she leave him?  If She did not go to be with someone else... just left him, then there is no grounds for divorce and remarriage.

My gut here is that it is perfectly fine for you to find someone else to marry, but why pursue damaged goods ... someone who already failed at marriage.... your marriage did not fail and I think you can do better than that.

I hope that this gives you some guidance.  Remember that there are two sides to that story and she may not be the monster that he has painted her to be.  Remember that maybe someday he will be painting you as a monster to his next conquest.

In Christ
Pastor Don

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Pastor Don Carpenter

Expertise

I believe that every word of the Bible is God-Breathed. This blessed book is the foundation of truth for faith and practice. If you ask this volunteer a question you will receive an answer from the Bible that is based upon a litteral, normal interpretation, taking into account the grammar and culture of the time.

Experience

I have been in the ministry almost 20 years. During this time, the Lord has used me as Senior Pastor, counsellor, youth pastor and generally in the equipping of the saints for the work of the ministry.

Organizations
Professor at New England School of the Bible - Southington CT

Publications
The Revival Chronicles

Education/Credentials
BS in Bible Baptist Bible College of Clarks Summit, PA

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