Baptists/Ready to Give Up


The following really isn't a question. It's more like a last resort or plea for help or comfort. I don't know....Maybe I just need someone to listen to me.

I am 30 years old and live alone and don't have any friends. Since last year, January 2014, I have been searching for a good church and a place to be happy and meet people and hear good preaching and feel connected.  

I've prayed and asked God for help and direction. I've spent hours on the internet researching and looking for a church. Every Sunday I've gotten up and put on a nice dress and taken myself to church.

The problem is: people have been so cold, mean, and unfriendly where ever I visit. Attempts to be nice and friendly have failed.
No one will talk to me, no will say hi to me, no one has offered to visit, and no will even ask if I am doing good.

After several months of being ignored....eventually I have sought another church and again I have been treated like an outsider and made to feel unwanted.

I am not a wild or loose woman with green hair and tattoos or piercings. I was raised Fundamentalist Baptist, I was homeschooled, I wear only dresses, and have my B.A.

I show up to church with my Bible and proper clothes and proper hair....yet I've been frowned at, scowled at, and made to feel worthless. My self esteem has crashed and I've become sooo depressed.

I feel like giving up and staying in bed on Sunday. After a year of searching I am sad, tried, burned out, and feel like an Atheist.

I am not looking for a "perfect" church and I know "mean" people are in EVERY church...but I have been grieved and wounded by this process and level of coldness from people. I don't know why God hasn't answered a simple pray such as finding a church.

Any advice, comfort, words of wisdom? I am on the brink of quitting religion forever and being Atheist. I am sad and lonely and hurt.

Dear Ann,
   I can hardly imagine what you have experienced!  If only you lived near the MO/KS border and could come to our church.  We have mostly older people in our small church so to have someone like yourself be a part of our church family would be a heaven sent answer to prayer.
   I can only surmise that people are intimidated by you, not knowing how to connect to you.  Shared connections outside of church, such as work, clubs, customer/business relations, etc. often break the ice with newcomers.
   As a non-Christian friend of ours complained about how most Christians act, my husband said perhaps they are mislabeled and only think they are Christians.
   Look for a place to volunteer helping others at church, if possible.  If that doesnít break the ice, then look for an opportunity to move to the Bible Belt.  California nuts and fruits donít know when they have a good thing.
   I Kings 19óGod gives Elijah a close friend, Elisha, when Elijah gets discouraged.  Iíll add my prayers to yours.  Let me know how things turn out this year.


All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Mrs. Priscilla Lyons


I have time for you. The Bible has been my guiding light for most of the 56 years of my life. My missionary parents in Brazil kindled a love for God`s Word by their example and their love for truth. The Lord has blessed my husband and me with responsible, independent children who love and serve the Lord and are our best friends. I would enjoy discussing any subject or problem from a Biblical perspective.


I help lead music in a small Southern Baptist Church. Although I rarely have the opportunity to play, I do play the bass guitar, drums, tambourine, harmonica and piano. I like Southern Gospel and praise choruses, but only know by heart the words from the hymnal, and my vocal range is half an octave lower than most music is written, but fortunately my husband transposes well and also plays by ear.

©2016 All rights reserved.