Dear Mrs Lyons
Thank you for been my friend in Jesus, Our Saviour.
Church attendance and Bible study has really given meaning and purpose to my life.
The friendship and influence of Ruth, her Mum and two other girls has given me a level of happiness.
Mum still has quite some time to do in gaol but she regularly gets out for weekends - but there is now a big gap between us. She shows no sign of accepting Jesus as her Lord and Saviour - which troubles me greatly. And I pray for her redemption.
Nan and Pop say I have a home with them as long as I need one - which is a comfort, as they are very Godly and clean living.
The rules are still quite strict but I am used to them.
But I do get to go on sleepovers with Ruth and other girls about once or twice a week. which is marvellous.
One of the girls even has a parental control TV -which is safe and which I greatly enjoy, as a treat.
I have finished home-school and just turned 18 (sadly or gladly no boyfriend).
Ruth's Mum helps me buy modest, long and gladly fashionable clothes in consignment or thrift charity shops. They are mostly button-front that are easy to wear. On Church service WEDNESDAY and Sunday, Nan always requires me to wear a church dress suit.
I thrived in home-school - enough to make me eligible to study climbing stairssocial care at university. But there is no money.
I have started a job at a senior centre which is good experience but I am wary of going to college until I manage to lose some weight.
I like the work but it is quite tough as I get out of puff climbing stairs.
I feel I don't want to go to further education until I manage to lose weight. I am back at 2o8 pounds. I am very embaressed about my weight issue and it prevents me mostly from joining church youth sports and activities.
I don't understand why I cant lose weight as I consider I no longer over eat and why I am so different than my Mum.
It burdens me that I am not yet BORN AGAIN!
There are girls of as young as 10 year old who have been baptized and born again. Yet, at 18, I have not. It makes me angry.
I told u about the Elder.
Well, he is still here, though we have no contact or talk and he is very important in the church.
WE were seen and reported together at a restaurant and informed.
I went through six talks with ladies committee with Ruth's mum as my protector.
It was a horrible ordeal but I got off with a minimal punishment.
My babtism has been postponed indefinitely and I am have to have no communication with the elder.
That is fine with me.
I know it was inapporiate, but extended to him fondling me and giving me light presents. But it felt like a real boyfriend.
I have truly sinned and so has he more as an Elder.
Itís good to hear from you again, Elaine.
I hope my thought on being born again will encourage you and not be a problem with your church. I realize that some churches donít agree, but I believe the Bible is clear in that anyone willing to surrender their life to God, is able to be born again, receive Godís perfect life and receive His power to fulfill our created purpose of being in His image. This is a spiritual born again experience between you and God. The church may not follow through with physical baptism and church membership until they are convinced you are sincere in your surrender to God, but God already knows your heart. We humans canít always accurately determine the sincerity of others, but God can and always does know exactly what our condition is, inside and out.
So, if you have made that commitment to God and you are sincere, then you are born again, and have Godís power to accomplish what He knows is best for you.
I understand the weight concern, but just accept that, for the time being (things may change in the future) God has allowed you to be different from your mom, and allowed it to be difficult to lose weight. There are many people in much worse conditions, and God still loves them and can fulfill His purpose in them. Keep your focus on wanting to please God, whether you weigh more than your friends and mother or not. What Iím saying is that your weight can become your God if it is more important to you than pleasing God is important to you. God did not make our bodies simple machines that automatically lose weight when you eat less or exercise more. It is a lot more complicated than that (We should respect a God who designed such a delicately balanced human body!). Peace of mind, confidence in God...many things affect our weight. Keep learning about different healthy food and activities (physical and mental) and ask God to help you keep changing inside and outside to be more like Him.
As you get excited about new ideas/projects God brings to your mind, that may attract others who are interested in some of the same ideas. Who know but what God has some young man who will enjoy talking to you and have respect for you, unlike the elder who took advantage of you. However, God has much more love and respect for you than any human can have, so cling to Him more than to anyone else, ok?