Expert: Rev. Stuart Woodward - 5/21/2007

Question
Do you ever believe it is alright to divorce?  I am currently going through a divorce, but I am so concerned with how that affects me eternally.  I don't want to go to Hell, but I also don't want to live in a marriage I am not happy in.  I  was married 24 years when I left, I have since then crossed our 25th anniversary.  I waited until our children were both of age, then I left.  He was a tempered and threatening man, and sometimes physical.  I was living with him without having the feelings of love a wife should have for her husband.  That in itself I feel is a sin.  Am I wrong?  Please advise.

Answer
Hello Candace,
Thank you for your question. There are circumstances in which I believe divorce is allowed for a Christian. The obvious circumstance is where adultery has taken place. However where a non Christian partner refuses to live with a Christian, in my view, then divorce is also possible. However it is always a last resort.
Your circumstance is different in that you are the one who has left. Normally I would encourage anyone to stick with marriage because love is not primarily about feelings but commitment. However, you suggest that your husband has been physically abusive. It is not right that a woman should be expected to live with an abusive partner unless that partner recognises the problem and seeks help to change.
Without knowing you both personally it is hard for me to advise but I want to assure you that the choices you make in this regard will not send you to hell. We are saved by the grace of God through faith. There are many disobedient Christians who will still get to heaven. The bible describes it as being saved as through fire. We all fall short of what we should be but God is merciful to those who call on him. I don't know about whether you should divorce or not but I know that God knows your heart and if you have trusted Him with your life through the cross then you are His.
You do not mention whether or not you are involved in a church. If you are you should seek advice from your leaders there. If not you need to find a good chruch that will guide and help you.
I hope my comments have been of some help to you and wish you God's blessing.
Stuart Woodward