Expert: Cooper P. Abrams III - 1/29/2006

Question
I and my husband were recently saved this last fall, Sept. 11th for me and Sept. 18th for him.
Without a doubt, the Holy Spirit has worked in both our hearts and we know we are saved.
What we both are struggling with now is that we'd both like to be more active in church but there is a dress code we must follow.  Since I've been saved, I no longer wear slacks to church-only dresses and my husband wears nice slacks and dress shirt, but we have been told in order to have a leadership position in church, I have to wear dresses at all times and my husband needs to wear a tie.  
No where in the Bible have I read this and I've been faithful in my reading.  I've read all the New Testament and I'm now in Deuteronomy in the Old Testament.  The scripture our pastor uses to back this up is clearly speaking about homosexuality.  
I have the utmost respect for our pastor but at the same time, after being Lutheran for so many years and being accustomed to pastors trying to use scripture incorrectly, for the church's best interest and theological beliefs, it disturbs me to see where there is no clear scripture for this practice.
What disturbs me more is where the Bible clearly speaks about how a woman's long hair is to her glory and a covering for her, but the church has many very short haired women?
Please help clarify this for me because I know it is hard to find a good Bible based church these days and I don't want to have this become a stumbling block for me.
Any good scripture that clearly answers this question for me would be greatly appreciated.
Lorna

Answer
Hi Lorna,
   I am sorry this reply is late....I have tried repeatly for several days to send answers to the questions, but problems on the AllExperts web site prevented them from going through.   They emailed me this morning and said the problem is fixed and I just sent an answer and it went through.   Some people are really quick to give me bad feed back if the reply is not prompt....so I wanted you to know why.  
Thanks

Hi Lorna,
   With some churches dress codes are a touch subject as you have seen.      The New Testament standard for dress for woman, and in principle men,  also is modesty.  This is stated in 1 Timothy 2:8-10   “I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting.    In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;  But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.”  
          The mention of broided hair, gold, pearls and costly array are related to a woman being “shamefaced and sober.”    In other words a modest and godly woman does not dress to show her sexuality.    It does not say anything about dress...other than the dress (costly array) should be modest.    The culture of a people determines what is modest and what is immodest.   A woman who dresses like a “Babbie doll” with low cut, tight, and revealing clothes of course would not be modest as would wearing excessive makeup.
       In the area of woman wearing pants.   The biblical principle is still modest.     A woman in tight fitting jeans or pants is immodest, but a woman in loose pant which are made for woman can be modest.   So the cut and wearing of clothes determines whether they are modest or not.  
       Also a woman should not dress like a man.....or wear clothes that would cause one to think she was a lesbian.   A woman can cut her hair like a man's cut which would bring her into question.   But a woman wearing short hair that is not cut like a man's would not be suspected of being a lesbian.   So again it is not so much the length of a woman's hair, but the style at which it is cut and worn.
       In Bible times men wore long robes as did the women.   However the cut of the robes were different for men and women, thus a man in a woman's robe or visa versa could immediately be seen.   But...men in Bible times did not wear pants, nor did women.    So to say that pants should only be worn by men is wrong.    Also men did not wear white shirts and ties.   However, in our society wear a shirt and tie is considered dressing up and respectable apparel.   It is respectful for a man to come to worship God, or a woman wearing nice respectful clothes.    I do not “require” men to wear shirt and ties, but I do and most of my men do so also voluntarily.   Those that don't are not made to feel uncomfortable, but hardly anyone ever dresses immodest or overly  casual.   

  Dresses that show the leg below the knee were at one time considered immodest, but today are the sign of modesty.     Any dress that does not cover a woman's entire legs can be in some case immodest...like for sports, or working.     Many accept culocks (spelling?), but they can be immodest in certain situations.

      Some churches have a dress code trying to present a good testimony of modesty to the world.  There is nothing wrong with that.     Some make it mandatary to hold certain positions.   If the congregation agrees to this of course it is okay.   However, there is a problem in making things mandatory.      A person may, in order to be able to whole a position,  accept the dress code, but inwardly not be in agreement with it.   They also could also think that dressing a certain way makes them spiritual....it does not.    In either case that would not honor the Lord.
      Based upon what I see the Bible teaching...in our church we choose people who are living godly, faithful lives and who are modest in their dress and actions.    We do not have a particular dress code.    It is interesting that over the years I have seen some really rough and immodestly dressed people come to our church.    In time it is amazing that soon their dress changes and they began to shed the immodest clothes and dress nicely.   They do it because of conviction in their hearts that they want to honor the Lord....thus it shows spiritual growth.   We do not elect people who do not dress and live faithful godly lives.    In the four churches I have pastored it has never been a problem.
    So my advice....if the pastor and the church has a dress code...and you are comfortable with it...then why not go along with it.   If not...then out of a good conscience....do not accept it.
    One principle in the Bible is the principle of not putting a stumbling block before a weaker brother.    If our dress offends a weaker believer...who is immature and does not understand biblical liberty in Christ...then it is best not to offend. (See 1 Corinthians 8:7-13)    
     A spiritually mature believer will understand the weak brother who equates certain acts as being spiritual.
     I hope this helps you with the matter and that you will seek guidance in doing what will honor the Lord.   I sure that is your earnest desire.

Cooper P Abrams III
Romans 12:1-2
Bible-truth.org
" Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong. Let all your things be done with charity"  (1 Corinthians 16:13-14 )