Expert: Elder Greg Madden - 12/19/2007

Question
QUESTION: Hi,

In 1 Cor 7:8-9 the Apostle Paul says men should not marry. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

Does this mean that Christian men should not marry so they can spend more time serving God and only marry if their desire for sex keeps them from remaining single?

Did this Bible position of not getting married only apply early in Christian History when it was more important to spread Christianity or do you think this Bible position  toward marriage still applies today? Also, isn't it a mistake for older people to remarry if the only reason for marrying is because a man must have sex?

ANSWER: Brison,

Thank you for your questions. I will do my best to answer them one at a time.

1. "Does this mean that Christian men should not marry so they can spend more time serving God and only marry if their desire for sex keeps them from remaining single?"

Yes, that is what this means. The Holy Spirit through Paul wrote in verse one of this chapter that this is the case.

1 Cor 7:1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

This is an Old Testament phrase which means not to marry. This does not mean that marriage is wrong, but because of "the present distress" it was a good thing not to be bound by marriage.

1 Cor 7:26 I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.
27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife

Paul was speaking of the conditions in which Christians were placed by the persecution the church at that time (and to to some extent today) was experiencing.

The Holy Spirit was also saying that when a person gets married, they then have the duty of taking care of their spouse as well as serving the Lord. Paul was simply stating that as a single person you are less incombered, and able to follow the Lord without the thought of a taking care of a spouse.

1 Cor 7:25-40

And the Lord allowed Paul to encourage the church to be single as he was.

1 Cor 7:7 For I would that all men were even as I myself.

2. "Did this Bible position of not getting married only apply early in Christian History when it was more important to spread Christianity or do you think this Bible position  toward marriage still applies today?"

There was heavy persecution against the church during the days of Paul, and it was these persecutions that he mentioned in vs.26 as part of the reasons to remain single. But as I have already stated, the Bible also teaches us in vs.25-40 that a single person is less incombered, and able to follow the Lord without the thought of a taking care of a spouse. This principle is the same today. In my own case, I am married to a godly, Spirit-filled woman whom I have had the privilege of being married to for 24 years. And though we both serve God to the best of our abilities, there are times that we must think of each other and the others needs before we can work in the Lords kingdom. This does not mean we disobey God, but that as a husband and wife our duties also include each other as well as the Lord. Such is not the case with a single person.

3. "Also, isn't it a mistake for older people to remarry if the only reason for marrying is because a man must have sex?"

Yes, it would be if the ONLY reason they were getting married is sex. However, I have know older men and women that have lost their spouses to death and remarried. They are godly folks who fell in love again. Frankly, I can't blame someone for getting married again. I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life alone. But once again, if they feel that they should not remarry then they are free do do this as well.

7:27
Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.  
7:28
But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.  
7:29
But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;  

Brison, please let me know if this helps or if you have any further questions.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Elder Greg Madden
http://www.forministry.com/USOKPENTEMMM1




---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi Greg,

I greatly appreciate the time you took answering my questions! I totally agree with everything you say. What you say makes perfect sense.

I was also concerned about what God would think about masturbation in an effort to serve him better by staying single? Obviously, intercourse between a man and woman can only be performed as a husband and wife which would require marriage. However, what if a man masturbates? If he does masturbate will this incur anger from God? As far as God is concerned if a man has to masturbate would God rather he get married than to masturbate? I don't think masturbation is discussed in the Bible is it? My concern is if God gets angry with a man that masturbates, would God prefer the man marry rather than masturbate? Ofcourse, if a man did masturbate while thinking of women then this would likely be a sin also, correct? What do you think?

Answer
Brison,

I was glad to read that my answer to your previous question was helpful. Let's see if I can be as helpful with your next ones. LOL! Let me share with you some things I have read on Bible.com.

It is true that the Bible does not specifically mention masturbation. Therefore, to understand how God feels about this subject, we must examine other verses that deal with issues such as lust, self-control and purity. Also, we must examine its fruit to see if it is from God.

God's invented sex. He designed it—and His creation is worth far more to Him than it is to us. This beautiful expression of love was created out of His own heart, as a gift to be experienced between a husband and wife.

Hebrews 13:4
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.  

Some may ask "Isn't it still better to masturbate than to commit fornication?"

The easy answer to this question would be, "Yes, it is better to masturbate, because at best it corrupts only one person. It certainly is the lesser of two evils." However, why would a loving, holy, all-powerful God abandon you to a situation in which you have to choose any evil, whether it be "lesser" or "greater?" To really answer this question, we must again go back to God's original plan for sex.

Brison it is important to understand that masturbation will not truly relieve the sexual pressure that one may feel. It may for a short moment, but in the long run it only creates a deeper desire and capacity for sex, which will lead to more masturbation. If you let yourself become enslaved to a sexual high, you will find that you need to go to increasingly extreme acts to maintain the same degree of excitement. This creates a vicious circle, like the junkie who craves a "fix," but is only temporarily satisfied. The more he indulges in his dependency, the more ensnared by addiction he becomes. This is the nature of all sin. That is why Jesus declared that all who sin become a slave to sin (John 8:34).

Furthermore, masturbation usually involves fantasy, visualization, and often pornography. The Bible is very clear as to what God expects of us in these areas of fantasy and lust. It teaches that we must not look lustfully at each other nor should we behave in such a manner as to entice others to lust after us.

Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.  

All sexual immorality begins with a thought. A lustful thought not taken captive, will eventually lead to other perversions, because sin reproduces itself in increasingly greater measures. If we do not deal with our evil thoughts, they will take root in our hearts.

You see Brison, our loving God never demands from us what is impossible for us to do. We are so weak within ourselves that it may seem impossible, but He will equip us with His holy power to overcome any sin, if we ask in faith.

Of course, sexual urges in and of themselves are not wicked. They are natural. God created us that way. He desires that we get optimum pleasure out of them by using them the way they were created to be used. However, many desires for physical gratification (whether it be food, sex, etc.) stem from a deeper need that is unfilled deep inside us. Gorging our flesh can never fill a hunger that grows out of our spirit. Only intimacy with God can fill the deepest needs inside of us. No other created thing has that power.

Brison, God loved us enough to send Jesus to die for ALL our sins. Therefore He loves us in spite of our sins. He does not want us to fall into these sins, but since He already knew that we would sin, He made provision for us to receive forgives and freedom from those sin. How? Through our faith in Christ Jesus, and His finished work on the Cross.

John 19:30
When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, It is finished: and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost.

Col. 1:20
And, having made peace through the blood of his cross, by him to reconcile all things unto himself; by him, I say, whether they be things in earth, or things in heaven.  

Col. 2:14
Blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to his cross;

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Brison my friend, I hope that this helps answer your questions. Please feel free to write back if I can be of any further help.

Elder Greg Madden
http://www.forministry.com/USOKPENTEMMM1