Expert: Mrs. Priscilla Lyons - 2/19/2007

Question
We have three children, 2 1/2 months old, almost 3 & 5 year olds.  Our 3 year old has been waking up in the middle of the night for the past month.  She used to sleep through the night all the time.  She cries when she wakes up, and it's hard to get her to respond to you.  The few times she's slept over at someone else's house she's slept fine.  She also started wearing pull-ups at night in the past month, something that she has initiated.  We are wondering if they are night terrors or if they could be something else, like spiritual warfare?  She used to wake up crying at our old house (we moved recently) and it stopped after we got the elders to pray over her and the entire house.


Answer
   I'm glad you've written, Elizabeth.  Your love and concern shows through.  I'll be praying for you.  If you've found a church family where you've moved (if it's too far from your past church family) I'm sure they would want to pray for this situation also.
   If I were you, I would stick as close to your 3 year old as glue.  Don't let her out of your sight if at all possible, and use as much motherly touch as you can to reassure her.  It could be a reaction to the change of a new baby, change of a different home, something she's seen on TV or with other people, or, in an extreme case, something inappropriate happened to her.  Feed her as healthily as possible to lessen physical reactions to whatever may have bothered her.  Reliable routine and plenty of rest are also helpful.
   If you know scripture songs, sing them as often as you can to her.  I used to sing Psalm 27:1 to my children when they would wake up crying.  You probably already sing songs and pray with your children to tuck them into bed, but you might encourage her to talk as you just hold her for a few minutes silently after you've done the rest of the tucking in routine and the light is dim.  
   During the day, try to share your own frustrations or decisions as you pray out loud, so the children hear you depending on God's strength to deal with everyday situations.  If there are arguments between the 3 and 5 year old, pray out loud with them, and ask them if God has any ideas for them to follow.
   If we Christians didn't have problems, it would be harder to remember our goal isn't so much to be perfect, as it is to rely on God to reflect HIS perfection with the unique interests and abilities He has given us.  God wants us to be one with Him (Eph.5:31-32, John 17:21-23), but we tend to forget Him at times, since He's invisible to us now.  If you can direct your 3 year old's attention more to discovering God's interest in her, than in her physical disturbances, it would strengthen the principle of focusing on what is real, which is invisible, rather than focusing on what is a shadow of what's real that is visible. (Heb.9:24 places made with hands are the FIGURES of the true, 10:1a SHADOW of good things to come and not the very image of the things, II Cor.4:18 We look at the things which are not seen, for the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.)
   I thank the Lord for families like yours, that are the bedrock, the source of what is good in America.  It's not easy to bring up children who can swim against the anti-God current of our culture today.  Every sleep-deprived night and every dirty diaper is the most worthy job when you are God's tool of service, fashioning His children for His glory.  Thank you for your most valuable contribution to the well being of all of us.
   Love,
   Priscilla