Expert: Rev. Stuart Woodward - 8/3/2006

Question
Too much to address here,therefore, one question.
Why has The Lord allowed me to suffer with loneleness all my life & even more so (no friends)in my retirement years? My wife left me in 1970 for other men; my daughter rejects me & I hear from my son once in awhile. They do not live a Christian lifestyle.
I am a retired Chief Investigator and am thinking of a way out of this pain.

Answer
Hello Lawrence,
Thank you for your question. Why God allows certain things to happen in our lives will always be shrouded in some mystery. If I could understand His mind I would be on a par with Him and I am not! In my own congregation there are individuals and families who seem to suffer greatly and others who appear to 'get off lightly'.
I know it is not simply a matter of reaping what we sow although this can have some relevance to our situation.
I discovered ways through during my young daughter's seven year illness and then later when I came very close to a breakdown through stress. I decided to think as much as I could about the cross and as I did so I saw again how God loves me so much He gave His all for me. He has demonstrated His love and though circumstances may be hard His love remains.
I discovered that only in closeness (intimacy) of relationship with Him could I find the foundation for addressing other issues. From this secure foundation we can dare to reach out to others and make ourselves vulnerable because our worth and value comes from Him and not the opinion and actions of others.
I do not know if you are involved in a church but if you are you need to get to gatherings where you will meet people and have to talk with them. It can be hard and we can get hurt but in the end it is worth it. The only practical answer I know to loneliness (which we are all secretly afraid of) is to reach out to those who are also lonely and befriend them. Some will withdraw and reject the offer but others will welcome such kindness.
I do not know how old you are and how mobile you are but to use what physical capacity you have got to reach out to others with God's love can never be a wasted experience.
You do not say why your daughter has rejected you. If you can think of anything to apologise for to her in order to at least begin to build a bridge it will be worth it.
I hope my comments have been of some help. All the answers can't be found in a brief response but I believe what I have shared could be useful.
I wish you well and will pray that God will draw you closer to Himself and give you both the courage and desire to  reach out.
Stuart Woodward