Expert: Rev. Robert Woods - 6/8/2006

Question
Dear Rev. Robert Woods,
  About a year ago i moved to new jersey to be up closer to my girlfriend so that i could get to know her better. She has this brother who at home is very violent and angry all the time, but at church and at youth group he is all shy and nice to everyone. He was always angry and always cursing and he didnt really care about what anyone untill he went to church where he became this sweetheart that all the church people loved.

 I talked to him about this and told him this was a sin issue and he needed to deal with it and his reply was that it doesnt really matter because no-one at church was ever going to find out about it.
  Then i appoched him about 3 times in front of other people about this issue and his response was the same.
  He is only 16 so i thought that going to the elders of my church wouldnt be as effective as going to his youth pastor. I went to his youth pastor and talked to him about this issue. Well, he after talking to him decided he really should not be in music ministry untill he cleaned up his act.
  Now his parents are very angry that i would do that to him. Did i do wrong?

Signed,
Paul

Answer
Blessings and thank you for your question.

You followed the exact example that Jesus prescibed in Matthew 18:15-20.  First you confront your brother in Christ with his sin.  If he refuses to listen, then you confront him with 2 or more brothers.  If he still refuses, then you are to tell the church, just like you did by telling the youth minister.

Open sin always needs to be taken care of.  If this young person was struggleling with the sin, it would be different.  But it sounds as if he wants you to accept his sin and condone it.  

Blessings