Expert: Elder Greg Madden - 4/14/2007

Question
I know there have been other answers relating to this although I need this to be specific...I divorced my husband because he cheated on me.  I tried to keep the marriage together but couldn't after it happened again.  I turned to Christian faith just recently.  Scripture states it is acceptable for a man to  divorce his wife for infidelity.  I have not been able to find if it is acceptable by God for a woman to divorce her husband for infidelity?  If I remarry a Baptist who was never married, would that be considered adultery?

Answer
Tara,

Please accept my sincerest apology for my late reply. I will do my best to answer
your questions. But first let me say how grieved I was to read of your situation.
Know this my sister; you have a brother in Christ that is praying for you. That the
Lord Jesus would strengthen and encourage you. That He would carry you in your times
of weakness and discouragement. That the Holy Spirit would truly become a Comforter
to you. I encourage you to not look to anyone, or anything but Christ, and His
finished work on the Cross for your needs. He has supplied everything you need in
the Cross. He is your source!

Now to your specific questions. I will answer them one at a time...

1. "I have not been able to find if it is acceptable by God for a woman to divorce
her husband for infidelity?"

The Word teaches us that there are Biblical reasons for divorce.

Infidelity is one.

Matt. 5:31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a
writing of divorcement: 32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his
wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and
whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

The unwillingness of one of the spouses (man or the wife) to stay with the other
because of the others conversion to Christ (getting saved).

1 Corinthians 7:10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not
the wife depart from her husband: 11 But and if she depart, let her remain
unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his
wife. 12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that
believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13
And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to
dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified
by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your
children unclean; but now are they holy. 15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him
depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath
called us to peace. 16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy
husband? or how
knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

Tara, in the context of 1 Cor. 7, and Matt. 5, if either the husband or the wife is
guilty of infidelity, or is unwilling to stay with the other spouse after their
conversion, the other spouse is free to file for divorce. No, it is not specific to
the wife, but in the context of these Scriptures it is.

2. "If I remarry a Baptist who was never married, would that be considered adultery?"

Tara, in this question there are a myriad of circumstances that would cause me to
give you a different response. I will however, give you a few circumstances, and the
responses I would give to each.

A) First, and foremost, God hates divorce. I do not have to tell you how much heart
ache and pain it causes. The Lord is grieved when anyone goes through the ravages of
separation. So my first response is this, is there absolutely no way of
reconciliation with your former husband? I do not know anything about what happened
(nor am I trying to pry) but this is often over looked by people. If there would be
any way of reconciliation, I suggest this first.

B) Second, if there is no hope of reconciliation (and this very well may be the
case), and the man you would consider marring has not been divorced, then no, t is
not adultery because your divorce was Biblically based.

C) Third, if this man has been divorced, but for un-Biblical reasons (he committed
adultery or was unwilling to live with his former spouse after her conversion) then
to marry him would be adultery.

D) Fourth, If the man has been divorced, but his former wife was the one who caused
the divorce (she committed adultery or was unwilling to live with her former spouse
after his conversion) then it would not be adultery.

E) Lastly, the Bible teaches us to not come into covenant with anyone who is not a
Believer (marriage is by definition a spiritual covenant with another person).

2 Cor. 6:14
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath
righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

So even if the man were a perfect gentleman, has never been married, and everything
would appear to be "perfect" in him. If he is an unbeliever, then you should not
even date him. Why not even date? Because in reality dating is nothing more than
looking for a spouse. And as I have advised many people, don't even date someone
that you would not at least consider marring. And an unbeliever is someone a
Believer should not consider marring.

Tara, please let me know if this helps, or if you have any further questions.
Elder Greg Madden