Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 2/23/2007

Question
I dont mind giving tithes. We give more than our share. But, when someone passes away in our congregation it is us who is always called and asked to pick up deli trays, flowers, meals etc that are to be from our Sunday School class or Wednesday night class and we are expected to pay for this ourselves (I mean my family and I) Also I feel trapped into buying tupperwear, cosmetics, candles, and candies that the ladies seem to be selling all the time. How can I say no and not feel guilty.

Answer
Hi Samantha,

Thanks for this great question.  Here is what we know:

1.  Tithes are commanded.

Malachi 3:8-10
8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings. 9 Ye are cursed with a curse: for ye have robbed me, even this whole nation. 10 Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.  
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

2.  Other giving is voluntary.

2 Corinthians 9:7
7 Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

3.  It is your CHOICE how to contribute to these special matters.  Make your choice and do not allow someone else to try to pressure you into something else.  You choose to feel guilty... they cannot MAKE you feel anything... they can however attempt to manipulate you past your NO boundary.  Recognize that as such and stand your ground if you want to.

I hope that this helps you.

In Christ
Pastor Don