Expert: Dr. Ronald E. Shultz - 8/27/2003

Question
My question is long so stay tuned.
My name is Christine,I am a survivor of insest!
My father molested me from at least the age of 5 that I can clearly remember. When I was 19 I had somewhat of a nervous break down,and I pressed charges against my father ( because he at the time was still rapeing my little sister and brother) well it is 15 years later he has written me from prison.I have never had much religon in my life BUT I DO BELIEVE IN GOD! This letter a lot of bible verses and pretty much tell me that even tho he violated at least 5 of Gods innocent children, he because he has turned to God (just since prison) he will go to prison and I one of his victoms will not be granted to access beyond the Heavenly Gates because I cant find it in my heart to forgive him .Therefor The last part of the letter says this. "That he who loveth God loveth thy brother also. ""So you see you may hate me but in doing so you are blaming God."".    
This is NOT true I blame him God gave us the ability to make choices,and he made his! I love God and believe that he is the all mighty.
But where in the bible does it say that a father shal NOT sleep with his children?My father said that when he was with me it was adultery and with me it was fornication.and that is all that it was.My father is dying now he has 6mo to a year to live he resides in a oragon prison it seems that he just sent the letter to rape me of my dignity one more time.

                HELP ME
do I have to forgive him?
or does GOD understand?

Answer
God understands perfectly and I can understand your pain and anger. God does tell us to forgive.  IF your father has truly received God's salvation then he is forgiven by God for all his sins.  As a new Christian, he may not know how to properly ask for your forgiveness and is in such dire need fo it that he is trying to force it by telling you God won't let you into Heaven unless you do.  I do not believe this is true.

He is incorrect in saying by holding him accountable for his sins and having anger towards him that you are blaming God. Dying men are desperate and he is trying to make peace with you and God but not doing it well in your case.  I cannot say without speaking to him about whether he did get saved or not.

God wants you to forgive him for your sake more so than for your Dad's sake.  If you continue to carry this anger and hatred it will only consume your life and in essence give your father control over you the rest of your life and destroy the blessings and happiness God wants to give you. You need to turn it all over to Jesus and let Him heal you by His love. I know this is not easy, but possible through the Spirit.  

Please seek out a good pastor in your area and let him take you through the Word and get yourself healing. As you heal, God will give you the strength to forgive though it may not happen in the time your Dad has left to live.  That is not as important as you getting the peace and joy that God has for you and that you will then be able to share with your brother and sister.

I only got this message today due to some glitch in the system so I am sorry for the late reply.  I pray that Father God who loves you deeply will heal you and use you to heal other lambs in His kingdom.  Blessinsg unto you!!!!  

E-mail me anytime at mavmin@earthlink.net


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Leviticus 18 gives the rules against incest or sex with near kin. A daughter is indeed near kin. Incest is fornication and because your Dad was married it makes him an adulterer as well so he is partially right about what sins he has committed.  Fornication is like a general category and adultery, incest, homosexuality and other sexual sins fall under that category.  It is like Chevrolet, Pontiac, and Buick are all General Motors products.