Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 11/23/2007

Question
QUESTION: Hi Pastor,

I have a question to ask you about the husband of one wife thing in the letters of Paul. Can a man who is divorced and remarried become a pastor? I have heared that the answer among some pastors is no, yet there are a lot of pastors who are divorced and remarried.

If my current wife is my second wife would this be a problem? I heared one man say that the Paul's quote in the New Testament refers to men who were polygamists. If that is the case then any divorced and remarried man can be a pastor as long as he is not an old time mormon.

What is the purpose of Paul's statement concerning this? Why can't a man of more than one wife be a pastor? There must be a reason.

Also, when is it okay for someone who is divorced to remarry? I have heared that it is only in cases of adultery. But how about irreconciable differences? For example: If my wife does not shut her mouth and I have to either leave or go crazy. I don't know if you've ever met women like that, but I can assure you it is not pleasant. If that is the case and I then marry someone else am I living in sin after the marriage ceremony? I know that in the gospels it says that a man who marries a divorced woman commits adultary. But what about this case? Is a second marriage a perpetual lifetime of living in sin?

-Josh

ANSWER: Hi Joshua,

You sure have a lot of questions.  I am sorry about the ones that are just beyond my ability to answer without spending a great deal of time in research.  

When considering pastoral qualifications, Paul was giving indicators of one's character.  Marriage is a lifetime contract between two people.  If the pastor is divorced, in one way or another he is a covenant breaker.  A covenant breaker would make a poor choice as the top leader of the most sacred body on earth, the Local Church.

I do believe that there are two ways where people can get divorced and re-married without sin.

1.  If their spouse commits adultry, causing the marriage to break up.

Matthew 19:2-10
2 And great multitudes followed him; and he healed them there.
3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8 He saith unto them,  Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say unto you,  Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. 10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

2.  If an unbelieving person leaves the spouse because the spouse is a believer.

1 Corinthians 7:15,25-28
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.  

25 Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful. 26 I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.  27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. 28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
The King James Version, (Cambridge: Cambridge) 1769.

I hope that this helps you.

In Christ
Pastor Don

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi Pastor,

Thanks for your answers. You answered part of my question, but not all of it. The other question I have is if I got divorced unscripturally, and sinned, then got married to someone else, am I living in perpetual sin with that person? Would I have to leave the second wife and go back to the first to not be living in sin?

-Josh

Answer
Hi Joshua,

THank you for this follow up.  This is a great question.  I believe that God can forgive unscriptural re-marriage.  I do not believe that the Bible tells us that we should commit divorce )which God hates) again in order to remedy the situation.  I believe that God wants us to at least keep this second commitment for life, even if we did not keep it in the first marriage.  I do believe that something like this disqualifies a man from ever becoming a pastor.

I hope that this helps you.

In Christ
Pastor Don