Expert: Dr. Ronald E. Shultz - 12/15/2006

Question
I've been asking about love.  Jesus said to love God, love your enemies, love yourself, but how can one love God if one can never truly know God, even love of self can be difficult, for some, it requires years of therapy, can you please shed some light on this?

Answer
Dr. Ian Thomas once said, "The truth about God is the truth about man and the truth about man is the truth about God."

The reason men struggle is that we don't know the truth about man or God until we study the true record God gave us in the Bible about both God and man.

I Jn 4:18-19
18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
19 We love him, because he first loved us. (KJV)

Many fear to love God or another human because of fear of rejection or being dumped later.  God, who is love, says to put that fear away when it comes to Him.  Jesus said that all who come to Him He would in no wise cast out.

Because of sin, man is a truly unloveable and selfish creature who loves himself more than anything else.  Scrooge was right.  We are a blight upon the eart yet God loves us.

Rom 5:6-8
6 For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.
7 For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die.
8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (KJV)

We often want proof of love from those we love or wish to love.  God proved His love for us while we were sinful and rebellious cursing His name and doing everything He told us not to do and not doing everything He told us to do.  If a person truly understands what God did for us out of love they can know they are loved and should have no real issues in loving Him except for the pain and fear they received because of sinful people who said that they loved them but left them. That can make it hard to grasp the fact that God loves them even if they have been slimeballs.  Some can accept salvation and grasp the fact that God loves them enough to forgive them about the past but when they screw up after that they fall apart because they were trusting in themselves to do right and that was thier mistake.  They can't do it themselves and have to rely upon His love.  They forget that God is omniscient and when He bought and paid for them He knew everything they had done and were going to do and yet He saved them anyway because He loved them.

Mankind has made the word and concept of love very cheap so God proved His love by giving the highest cost to prove His love and yet He gives His love freely.  

When we get to the last judgment we may find that many of those in therapy weren't helped because in reality they were denying their real problem.  They were really in their mess because they loved themselves too much and were disappointed that others didn't see them as they saw themselves and were grieved because they did not get the fame and love they believed was due them so to get the attention they craved they claimed self-hatred and debased themselves so that people would praise them and spell out their good points as they should have been doing all along in the eyes of the "unloved" one with the "inferiority" complex.  It is just hidden egotism or introverted narcissism.

It has been said that love is a choice.  We may start out with affection for God but as we trust Him and see Him work in our life that love can grow stronger than any other love a person has ever known and even more than life as they are willing to lose their life to save it and while not seeking a martyr's crown like the bombers they would not shrink from that crown if God so chose to give it to them.

True love is about the person loved and God loves us not out of any egotism or selfish motives but because He just loves us and wants to show us that His thoughts towards us are for our good that He may do us good at our latter end and eventually spend eternity loving us.  

Our love for God starts more out of awe, gratitude or even duty but if we allow Him to fill us with His love then our love becomes more about what we can do to please Him than about what He can do for us.

I hope this has been some help to you.  May God richly bless you as you seek Him through His Word!