Expert: Mrs. Priscilla Lyons - 6/20/2007

Question
I have been married for about 5yrs. During the last 2yrs of my marriage my husband has committed adultery with about 6 different women. He has allowed some of these women to belittle me, call my phone to tell me all about the relationship and the relations they have with my husband.He will go out there and do for another woman home before he does for his own home. He has treated me so unjust and unfair. I just recently received a call on the day of our son's first B-day from a woman saying she's pregnant by my husband. My mother is a devoted Christian and is against me getting a divorce. I too am trying to walk in the path of the Lord, but I can not allow this man to continue to hurt me and try to break me down. I understand what the bible says about divorce and trying to reconcile, but I honestly believe that we are at the point of no return. What would you suggest I do?

Answer
Dear Teresa,
   I apologize for my late reply.  I've been out of state for a couple of days helping my mother who just came home from the hospital.  
   While I agree with your mother about getting a divorce, I feel that you should separate.  You should tell your husband that if he wants to endanger himself with sex outside of marriage, then you will not allow the physical and mental diseases he picks up to be spread to you. (Have you had a doctor check you for venereal diseases?)  If he repents and get several clean reports from doctors, as well as being honestly accountable to others about not being unfaithful anymore, you should work on your relationship with him.      But until he takes the time to prove himself willing to be faithful to you, please stay away from him.  
   He is legally responsible for you and your son's financial support, but he sounds pretty irresponsible and immature, so I hope you can manage financially somehow.  
   If I were you, I would pray for him and treat him kindly as a distant friend.  If his women try to give you a hard time, tell them he's not worth their trouble because if he'll cheat on you, he'll cheat on them as well.  Tell them that you're sorry he is using them and that you will pray for them as you have been praying for your husband.  It is your husband's low character, as well as the low character of these women that should feel belittled--not you.  Ask God to help you pity them in the mess of sin they have made.  That way they can't continue hurting you.  
   In the meantime, use this bad situation to help you grow closer to God, reading the Bible more and sharing Christian songs, stories, and verses with your son.  You don't mention your father or brother, but it would be good for your son to have a male role model, since his father doesn't have the kind of character that would be good for him at this point.  You need to keep busy being the best mother with God's help.
   Love,
   Priscilla