Expert: Dr. Ronald E. Shultz - 12/18/2007

Question
that it doesn't fall over onto my own children. I have adopted two special needs boys and dedicated them and have tried to bring them up in the admonition of the Lord. I was not raised in a moral or faith-based home and wanted so much for these beautiful boys to be raised with this knowledge of God and His greatness and love for His own. In recently studying predestination, I have realized that all the horrible things that have happened to me since I took these boys in 9 years ago must be God's way of telling me that I went against His will and should have let them be separated and raised in foster care, b/c the literal CRAP that has taken place on a regular basis (the dad goes to prison, the older boy melts down, behavior out of control, I have to send him away several times for help, my home literally falls apart, law suits against the dad, the person I bought my house from, betrayal all throughout my family, serious financial issues, serious health issues with my mother who only has me to care for her, serious learning disabilities and growth issues with the younger boy, abuse of older boy in alternative program I found for him for 3 years out of state, car falling apart, accidents happening, my new house literally falling apart -pipes bursting, water leaking in from outside, little things going wrong, losing a job, my mother constantly sick, people close to us betraying us and my authority with my adopted sons, the father making illegal contact with the older boy, lawsuits against the program who abused the older boy, the death of beloved pets, it never ends... I am waiting for the boils to come.  Certainly I shouldn't be comparing myself to Job but I am alone trying to take on the troubles of children I did not give birth to, the health issues of a woman in her 60
s who is acting like a 12 year old and my own financial hardships. I have read fervently in scripture and listened to every radio and Internet ministry sermon I can get my hands on, constantly studying the word, trying to find a church that teaches the FULL GOSPEL and not what is comfortable, so that what I teach my children is true about God. But since all these horrible things continue to happen to me, week after week, I can only think that I am truly reprobate, God cares not for me, and my only hope now is that His hate for me does not spill onto my children. Can you help me? How can I be sure they are not reprobate? I am so scared and getting more so the more the "bade luck" seems to happen. Even my friends cannot believe how many really horrible things have happened over the past several years. If it's some sort of test, I honestly don't want to pass it because I don't want what's coming. I can't take anymore and I am beginning to believe what Mark Twain said in Mysterious Stranger about God. I have fervently fled all my old ways; drinking, smoking, drugs, sex, lying, cheating, for a more mundane working lifestyle with these kids, and with or without God I have no intention of returning to that pitiful existence, but I feel so completely rejected by God and have no idea how even to pray to Him anymore. It's starting to hinder my prayers with my son because he's noticing that I just don't have it in me anymore. I have shunned all things evil like astrology, fortune tellers, future telling cards (all of which I used to be into) and don't miss it, and I have tried hard to ensconce myself in the word,but now it's all failing. I am scared. I don't mind if I'm out of the loop but I don't want the sins of the father (sic) ME to be leveled on the sons for four generations.  And in reading Romans 9 there can be no doubt that God fully chooses whom He will and leaves the rest of us to rot. And we can't even ask if it's fair.
Can you help me understand or do I have a pretty good understanding of myself... reprobate? Perhaps it's because when I was a child and left a lone and didn't get what I wanted, was scared when my Grandmother died and left me, I screamed obscenities at God for days on end and He's never forgiven me. I guess I deserve it.

Answer
Let me apologize for the late response.  My Internet has been down at home and the activity at work has been exhilarating.

Sir, I am sorry that your life has been so traumatic but I do not believe it is because you are reprobate or you would not care about the kids’ spirituality nor care about not returning to you old life.  Some of the things that you have mentioned are just standard trials that we have in this life.  Finances, betrayal, health issues, home repairs, caretaking for older parents and trouble with kids are things many Christians face.  Believe it or not, many brethren overseas are in far worse condition than you.

First of all, since you are not the biological father of these children if they are suffering from the sins of the forefathers it is from their biological dad not you.  So put away that fear.

The son falling apart over his dad being imprisoned is not out of line.  Any sort of traumatic experience can make a child act out his anger, fear or grief.  Fathers disobeying court orders are normal as well.  I can’t say whether it was God’s will for you to take these children but you may not have been fully aware of all the possible ramifications of such an act though it was indeed a noble and selfless action.  

I don’t believe you quite understand Romans 9.  Paul was trying to explain to the Israelites how Gentiles could be saved and Jews lost and as well as some other issues.  Jeremiah 33:3 says that we can ask and let’s see Jeremiah called God a deceiver and Peter cursed as he denied Jesus and yet God used both of those lads as well as David who committed the only two sins that had no sacrifice provided for them.  Thus I doubt that the obscenities shouted by a young boy in grief constitute an unpardonable sin.  Dying without receiving Christ is truly unpardonable.  My father died in an accident when I was not quite 7. I blamed God for a long time and I am sure that I didn’t talk reverently to Him at that time.

1Co 15:3 For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures;
1Co 15:4 And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:
1Co 15:5 And that he was seen of Cephas, then of the twelve:
1Co 15:6 After that, he was seen of above five hundred brethren at once; of whom the greater part remain unto this present, but some are fallen asleep.
1Co 15:7 After that, he was seen of James; then of all the apostles.
1Co 15:8 And last of all he was seen of me also, as of one born out of due time.

1Ti 1:15 This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief.
1Ti 1:16 Howbeit for this cause I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might shew forth all longsuffering, for a pattern to them which should hereafter believe on him to life everlasting.

Sir, this is the FULL Gospel.  Yes, there is discipleship afterwards but this is the Good News!  On my monitor at work I have a banner that says Assistant Chief of Sinners.  If God can save and keep the worst and second worst sinners He will take care of you.  

Please go to my website www.mavmin.org.  I have 164 sermons on many topics and while I try not to be hard for hardness sake, neither do I sugarcoat or whitewash things.  

You do need to find a local church with a pastor that can teach you, people who will pray for you and put shoe leather to those prayers when they can.

I do not know where you live but I would suggest that you seek out an Independent Fundamental Baptist Church where they still preach from the King James.  They will know the purpose of the church and what should drive your life and not resort to gimmicks or evangelical rosaries.  That is really the only kind of church that I can offer you in good conscience.  

Thank you for sharing with me. You really do need a one-on-one prayer and study partner.  I can only do so much virtually.  Regardless of what this age may say God did not build the digital church but the local one.  Find a good pastor and people who will love you.  May God richly bless you as you seek His will and fellowship with His saints!!!