Expert: Dr. Tim Gladu - 3/25/2007

Question
I am a believer.  I went through a season of sin unparalleled with anything I've ever known.  i left my husband and sought a divorce. My divorce was not justified according to scripture.I take full responsibility for the mistakes and sin I introduced into my marriage which contributed to the breakdown, ultimate divorce.  I have confessed and repented of the affair I was involved in.I have sought reconciliation with my former spouse.He wants nothing to do with restoring our marriage.I have wrestled into the dark night of the soul with God and finally found the peace of grace and forgiveness I so desperately need to live. Now my question...if I pursue life, meet someone, fall in love, commit our relationship to God, and seek His guidance in all areas of the new relationship can I lose my salvation because I am actively involved in adultary.According to what I've read on this site, that would be unrepentant sin, an active lifestyle of sin, because I'm not justified.But didn't Christ justify my on the cross?Didn't I become reconciled with God through Christ?Or is that ongoing through repentance? Is it once and for all or is it active? I don't think I can lose my salvation, I do not think I am bound by the law any longer b/c of what Christ did, but I do not want to trust my thoughts/rationalizations. Am I to stay single to avoid my soul being in peril?

Answer
Cindy,

I feel that if your husband will not reconcile with you and he is not willing to take you back then he is the one who has the problem. The Lord wants us to remain married and not to divorce. God gave to Moses the ability for people to get divorced. I know that we should not be divorced, but under grace and the forgiveness that comes from God we can be forgiven. The ideal life would for you not to get married, but on the other hand do I think that you could live the rest of your life without sex. I know that the desire is there because it is part of us all. I would think God would not want you to be fornicating with different men. I would think that if you did meet someone you want to spend your life with and you commit the relationship to God that He will honor the union. I would like to give you some scripture to help you make your own decision. I have told you how I feel but you have to be right with God not me.

If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. (Hebrews 10:26-27)

I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery. (Matthew 19:9

To the married I give this command (not I but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:10-11)

If a man divorces his wife and she leaves him and marries another man, should he return to her again? Would not the land be completely defiled? (Jeremiah 3:1)

I want you to be able to make an informed decision.

God bless