Expert: Cooper P. Abrams III - 6/8/2006

Question
Dear Rev. Robert Woods,
  About a year ago i moved to new jersey to be up closer to my girlfriend so that i could get to know her better. She has this brother who at home is very violent and angry all the time, but at church and at youth group he is all shy and nice to everyone. He was always angry and always cursing and he didnt really care about what anyone untill he went to church where he became this sweetheart that all the church people loved.

 I talked to him about this and told him this was a sin issue and he needed to deal with it and his reply was that it doesnt really matter because no-one at church was ever going to find out about it.
  Then i appoched him about 3 times in front of other people about this issue and his response was the same.
  He is only 16 so i thought that going to the elders of my church wouldnt be as effective as going to his youth pastor. I went to his youth pastor and talked to him about this issue. Well, he after talking to him decided he really should not be in music ministry untill he cleaned up his act.
  Now his parents are very angry that i would do that to him. Did i do wrong?

Signed,
Paul

Answer
Hi Paul,
   I think you sent this to me by mistake.  It is addressed to Rev. Robert Wood.    I am Pastor Cooper Abrams.

    But I did read the question and I think you did right.  Matthew 18:15-17 Jesus gave the principles by which we deal with people who are in sin.  First we go to the person.  Next we go with one or two others and last to the elders.  That is what you did.   

     His parents are mad, but think about why.   They by their actions show they did not teach their son properly, and now  are trying to cover up his sin.   Probably they are more concerned about being embarrassed by their son's actions than the fact he does such unchristian things.

      So I would not worry to much about them being mad with you.   Pray for them and the boy.   If his parents do not accept the fact of his sin...he has little chance of repenting and overcoming these sins.    The boy is a liar and so are his parents.    They are classic hypocrites, putting on a righteous face while being unrighteous inside.   Jesus has a lot to say about that too.

      Again, not sure you wanted my response, but I thought I would just brief answer.   You did right and I admire you for it.  Most people, especially teens,  will not stand for what is right...and that is why there is so much trouble.   Sin needs to be dealt with and repented of and if that does not happen..then the name of the Lord will be dishonored.

Romans 12:1-2
God bless you as you serve the Lord,
Cooper Abrams