Expert: Dr. Tim Gladu - 10/24/2007

Question
"Hi,

I have a question for you on marriage. I know a couple who is not legally married, nor have they been married in a church, but they did exchange vows at home, in their living room. This couple was my fiancée and myself. We did it very religiously, praying in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and we exchanged rings.

The Lord God our their minister and our guardian angels were the witnesses. The only things which were lacking were the human witnesses and the human minister. We were sincere and we are planning a church wedding in a few months.

From what I understand a marriage union occurs when the couple exchange vows.

We didn’t want all the hassles of doing it legally yet. We were going to do it with a friend of mine as a witness, who would declare us as married. He was willing. But in the end we just did it ourselves. We will tell our families about it. We are not ashamed.

We plan to keep our vows and we took it all very seriously.  We actually did it twice. The first time it was after we had been drinking, although we had planned to do this for a long time. We were not drunk, but a little buzzed. Then a few days later we did it again completely sober.

I thought about what would happen if we were stranded on a deserted island with no one else there. I remember in the second blue lagoon movie the couple exchanged vows in the site of God, just by themselves, since there was no one else there. If a marriage like that would be valid on a deserted island I don’t see why it would not be valid otherwise.

From your understanding do you think that in the eyes of God we are married? If we live together are we living in sin?

Thanks - Joshua"


Answer
Joshua,

You sound like you have really studied this and feel strongly about it. You are right in the eyes of God. He I believe would recognize that you are married. The thing you need to remember is that even God thought it important enough to marry Adam and Eve. They did not just exchange their vows without anyone there. You are not legally married, but you already know this I just had to say it. Marriage is a doctrine in the church and it needs to be done by a Minister of God. The ordained are who God wants to join people in marriage. I am not saying that what you did was not heart felt and genuine. This is just my opinion and you may need to get others. I would suggest that if you know a minister that you think would give you an honest answer then ask them also just so you can have some peace about this. If you are asking me you may not think that it is exactly right. I am just saying keep that in mind.