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You are here: Experts > Education > Elementary Educators: Canada > Behavior & Learning in School > My 9 year old son
Expert: Patricia Ireland-Williams
Date: 5/5/2008
Subject: My 9 year old son
Question
My question is: How can I help my 9 year work more independently?
Background: His teacher said that he's doing really well, grade wise, after a very long ADHD year. He's on Daytrana and it helps with the ADHD part, but not too well on the focusing. When we go up on his meds he becomes zombie like, when we change we don't have a good response. This is med #5 and unsure if this is still for him. I've taken him to a psychologist and he did say that he's 5-6 years old in maturity and you may just need to accept as is. We've come such a long way with extremely delayed language at age 2, then 2 surgeries for his eyes, now add/adhd diagnosis. He's currently in group therapy with his peers at school and doing o.k., but still unsure of how it's going. I can't say enough about the teacher and the school. His 3rd grade teacher is right out of college, 1st assignment, and doing wonderful. She's got a parent volunteer to sit with him to help him stay focused. It helps her teach other students, but I don't want this for my son. I want him to grow independantly and succeed on his terms, but I also don't want the teacher to be overwhelmed by carrying my son either. Is there anything that I can do to help him and her in the classroom? Also, he's going into 4th grade and I'm really concerned. His curriculum is very advanced and I don't want him to slip through the cracks. Help!
Answer
Debbie, I think that you are a very fortunate Mom to have such great support. The fact that your son has had significant delays and is doing well over all is amazing. If he was my son, I would gladly embrace any help the school provides (many do not do this) and I would be excited about a parent volunteer sitting with my son in order to keep him on focus. This WILL help him become independent in the long run in that if he is left alone, he will be so distracted that he will not focus at all. Students with ADHD and heavy medication desparately need individual help in order to learn how to keep on track. When gains are seen, the teachers will wean him off of the help. To do this prematurely would be disastrous. Also, if the psychologist is correct that he is the equivalent to 5-6 years in maturity, this is even more of a handicap........go into a kindergarten or first grade classroom and observe the behavior of those students. Their attention span is only a few minutes long and the teacher has to carefully pace every activity.
As your child goes to fourth grade, I would request that he continues to receive individual help as he has had before. He will eventually learn to focus but it may take some time. Surely there have been gains this year as the result of this strategy.
In terms of what you can do to help, I would work with him at home
on assignments using a kitchen timer...........monitor his reading, homework, etc. and ask him to focus for 2-5 minute intervals doing assignments then tell you or show you what he has accomplished. If he has done well, praise him, if not, help him finish that small part. Give him a short break and then reset the timer and have him do more work.........continue this till the assignment is finished.
You certainly can continue this throughout the summer vacation in that his teacher can recommend what he should work on. There are many wonderful workbooks, books, activities available at any teacher supply store or bookstore. Reward him and praise him for even the smallest success and get him to verbally praise himself: "I did good today" "I finished my work on time!" "I learned about ________today".........etc. etc. (Self talk is a vital part of motivation).
Debbie, continue your advocacy and involvement in your child's progress. If you can, keep in touch with his teachers in order to monitor his progress on a weekly basis and stay POSITIVE!
Best wishes,
Patricia
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