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Behavior & Learning in School/Middle school daughter with problems


Thank you so much for your time and help.  I have an 11 year old daughter that started middle school this year.  She is on her third day.  Her best friend for the past 3 years is going to a different school and she doesn't know very many people in her pod.  She came home yesterday very sad because she is having a hard time finding a new friend.  I reminded her that it was only the 2nd day but she is so upset.  I hate to see her this way.  She suffers from anxiety.  As a mother, I know that I cannot go to the school and find friends for her but what can i do to help her?  Thank you again!

Thank you for your question Tanya.
I am sorry your daughter is having such a hard time. You are right, there is only so much you can do as a mother. But you can help.
You can provide the space and support for her to work through her sadness, you can assure her that it is ok for her to feel sad and even angry at the situation and it is okay for her to show those feelings. You can simply be there for her to have that space to show the feelings and release them. You can keep re-assuring her that things will get better and that she is able to handle it. You can also balance it with helping her to put her mind on positive things sometimes- what she likes about the new school, what she looks forward to etc.
The most important thing for her would be your attitude to the situation and to her. I am sure you are showing her complete love, caring and support.
It might help to talk with her about ideas for seeing her friend who has gone to another school; maybe planning a visit soon.
Hope this helps
Good luck

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Marilyn Robb


I am an educational psychologist and counsellor, with more ten years of experience in teaching, parenting, running support groups and workshops, teacher training and counselling. I would like to share my knowledge and expertise in issues particularly related to helping children cope with learning and the school experience.


My greatest credential (and perhaps my achievement too)is having two children and supporting them through school. In addition to my academic qualifications I have belonged to an international peer counselling organisation for the past 13 years. My other accomplishment is in setting up my own education and family resource centre.

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