Expert: Mel - 9/23/2008

Question
hi...i was thinking about the episode "isn't it romantic?"
the way the show portrays it, B/D had feelings for each other before they officially start going out in this episode..i noticed it seems to be after Dylan storms out of his dad's suite and yells at Brenda--she runs, he catches her, and they kiss. is that when they officially start being girlfriend/boyfriend? because if it it is, would that mean their relationship was never stable in the first place? i mean, i know they had feeling before she goes with him to his dad's, but they start up after he's upset. how do we know he really loved her and just wasn't trying to find the love he never got as a child? I'm just wondering if they really had a stable relationship because of starting up after he's upset. it says he fell in love with her, but is this maybe why they broke up so many times and cheated on each other--the maybe not having a stable relationship in the first place?

Answer
Hi Kayla,

Brenda had been curious about Dylan ever since her brother became friends with him, and they have a couple flirtations in "Higher Education", when Kelly introduces the two.  There are several scenes in "Isn't It Romantic?" prior to Dylan's freak-out over his father where him and Brenda are getting along easily, flirting, and enjoying each other's company (fixing Brandon's car, the shower run-in, the first movie date), so I wouldn't say their relationship was borne out of that one scene marked with instability.  However, I have certainly heard your theory proposed by fans - that his emotional state over Jack resulted in a transfer of emotion towards Brenda (that wasn't really warranted by their relationship at this point).  By season's end, though, we are supposed to believe he fell in love with her.  

As for when they officially became girlfriend and boyfriend, I would say it was in that same episode, even if not stated outright.  What we do get is this exchange:

Bren: "I mean, it's not like we're going steady or anything."
Kel: "Brenda, you had a date.  He asked you out again.  That's dating.  That's plural."  

... But by the episode's end, Dylan is already agreeing to get tested for STDs.  They've had the sex talk.  

In "Slumber Party", 3 episodes later, Brenda does refer to Dylan as her boyfriend ("Understand? What, that you were putting the moves on my boyfriend?").  "A Fling In Palm Springs", when she catches him with another girl and angrily assumes the worst, makes it clear that they are supposed to be dating each other exclusively.

You asked whether the instability of their relationship is what lead to them cheating/breaking up.  This is all a matter of opinion, ultimately, but I'd have to say no.  Break-ups often had to do with Brenda feeling that their relationship was moving too fast, or pressure from her father.  In "Cardio-funk", when they both kiss other people and their relationship had been going smoothly, I think it had more to do with Brenda's desire to explore other possibilities as a young girl and possibly Dylan's sense of alienation as a recovering alcoholic.  In the summer of S3, we're supposed to believe that he sincerely fell for Kelly and Brenda got swept up in the romance of Paris with Rick. When they actually do break up for the last time on screen, things are more complicated than what's stated here.  True, they've had a lot of break-ups, as have most of the major couples on this show, but I wouldn't say that their relationship had an overall sense of instability.

Thanks for the question!

All the best,

Mel