Expert: Thurman C. Petty, Jr. - 10/13/2008

Question
I got married on oct27, 07, my husband left me on sept 27, 08. He says that with our issues that he had to give it to god, and he moved out. Now God is going to let him know when the time is to come back. I dont feel this is true, I thought you were not to depart from your husband or wife, and confront issues and work together. So does God say you should leave?

Answer
Dear Kindelle,

I’m so sorry to hear that your husband has left you. I’m sure that must be a terrible blow, and has caused you great pain. Only Christ knows how to help you in a situation like this. And friends help too.

Your husband moved out because of “issues”, and that he had to give it to God. I don’t understand that, and I’m sure you don’t either. You are right about husband and wife working issues out. In some marriages, counsel is need from trained professionals. My wife and I had to go to a counselor after we had been married for 10 years. We sought help other times as well. We also sought help from God, and it is God who has keep us together for 48 years.

The Bible doesn’t speak of leaving the spouse about “issues.” The only “issues” that the Bible gives for divorce (leaving the spouse) are fornication—adultery. If you have done that, then your husband is free to leave you, but God would bless him if he forgave you and took you back. But that’s one issue about which a husband/wife may leave their spouse. (Matt. 5:27, 28; 19:3-9)

The only other reason given in the Bible is in the case of conversion to God. When a person is converted and joins the church, and the spouse does not; if the spouse desires to stay with you, then you would stay with him/her. But if the spouse desires to leave, then you must let him leave. (1 Cor. 7:10-15).

All marriages have issues, and husbands and wives need to work through these. The work of overcoming these issues bonds the couple that much closer to each other and to God. I know from experience. We’ve had some very large issues in our marriage that have nearly torn us apart. But we went to God and worked together to solve the issues, and by His grace, we’ve stayed together. We’re more in love now than we were on our wedding day.

I guess you are somewhat at your husband’s mercy, since he is the one who left. But you could seek some way to woo him back again—sort of like you did in order to get him to marry you in the first place. Pray to God for wisdom (James 1:5, 6). That’s a promise, and God always keeps His promises. He promises wisdom, but you have to apply it to yourself and do what the Lord shows you via the work of the Holy Spirit on your heart.

I will pray for you. But you shouldn’t take this sitting down. You had to fight to get your man in the beginning; you may have to fight even harder to win Him back. Whatever it takes! In the love and mercy of God.

Always be ready for Jesus to come,
Thurman C. Petty, Jr.
Thurman@PettyPress.com

P.S. I've placed an article on my web site www.PettyPress.com about one of our "Issues" that nearly broke us up. Click on "Writings", then on "Articles," and then on "Family: It's One of Satan's Prime Targets". You might want to read some of the 18 books or 40 Bible study guides while you're on my site.