Expert: Mrs. Priscilla Lyons - 2/10/2008

Question
My husband and I have been married for 10 months. We have been 'together' for 2 1/2 years. Last week, he left me for another woman. He was very cruel and cold-hearted toward me. I love him very much and am standing strong in the belief that God will heal my marriage and is working on Jeffery's heart. Jeffery and I have only been going to church and living for the Lord for a few short months. I don't understand why he has left me, we have had a lot arguments and a lot of fights throughout our entire relationship and marriage, but we've always had a deep love for one another. My heart is dying. I feel numb and I don't know what to do with myself or my life. I have two questions, actually. The first is scripturally, where do I stand, and where should I go from here. I do not want to get a divorce, I believe that marriage is 'death do you part'. I know that in circumstances such as these divorce can be forgiven, but I also feel that I should give my marriage every fighting chance. I am willing to forgive Jeffery for what he has done.
The second question is... Yesterday I bought a Valentines card for Jeffery and I want to write a few scriptures on it. But because of my lack of knowledge of the Bible, I don't know a good scripture. I want something that will make Jeffery take a long hard look at what he is doing and at how wrong it is. I also want something that will be kind and loving. I want him to know that God and I both still love him and it is not too late to fix this mess. Do you have suggestions and also any advice for me? Thank you, Bekah

Answer
Dear Bekah,
   Thank you for writing.  I hope I'm not too late getting back to you.  Let me answer your second question first.  If you haven't already sent the card, I would write out Matthew 22:37-38 in it.  I would add that you are disappointed that he has turned his love away from you and from the Lord, but that you plan to give your heart, soul, and mind to God, so if he (Jeffery) changes his mind and comes back, you will have God's strength and guidance to help you be the best wife possible.
   Then I would write off any future physical efforts to contact Jeffery, and simply pray for him every day.  In the meantime, your relationship with God can grow through this pain if you read the Bible every day, looking for God's heart to connect with yours, showing you how much He loves you, much better and much more than Jeffery ever could.
   We were created to reflect God image (not our own), so reading the Bible helps us think in ways to reflect God, which is our purpose in life.  It's not our own fulfillment that makes us feel complete, but instead, it is depending on God's glory to shine through us to the world that makes us feel complete.
   During this time of intense hurt, use your sensitiveness to reach out to others who are hurting.  Perhaps you could spend some time with children who have been abused by parents, or people in nursing homes who are lonely, or battered wives in a shelter.  God can give you a "well of water springing up into everlasting life" (John 4:14) which you can share with others, perhaps rescuing them from a terrible eternity in hell.
   Shine for Jesus, Bekah!  Perhaps the bright reflection will attract Jeffery to come back.  If not, be assured that God will see you through.
   Love,
   Priscilla