AboutRev C.Brian Ross Expertise I am happy to offer answers to anyone with a question that refers to the Christian Faith in its widest possible sense. I believe that the Bible is the living Word of God, and seek to base all of my life on its teaching. I also have some knowledge of some of the cults, and of Islam and Judaism. Of course, my answers are just one man's thoughts, and I would always advise a questioner to check with others, and with the Word of God.
Experience Served as a full-time parish minister in Scotland for about six years, and then spent the last thirty as a teacher (now 'retired') of Religious Education in Secondary Comprehensive schools (ages 11-17) while continuing my own preaching and teaching ministry. I also believe that learning is a life-time process, and have recently completed a Master's degree in Divinity.
Organizations Former Presenter on Revival FM - a local Christian, community radio station, broadcasting in west central Scotland, and online at revival.fm Involved with a number of organisations that support Christians who are currently suffering persecution in some 70 countries around the world.
Publications Various articles in Christian magazines. I also have two blogsites - www.crazyrev.blogspot.com and (with audio messages) www.revcbross.blogspot.com
Education/Credentials Diploma of The Bible Training Institute, Glasgow;
Licentiate in Theology of the University of Glasgow;
Associateship of The Philosophical Society of England;
Bachelor of Arts Degree (Hons) in History from The Open University;
Post-grad Certificate of Education - Religious Education and History;
Post-grad Cetificate in Learning and Teaching;
Post-grad Diploma in Management and Learning in Education;
Master of Science Degree from the University of Strathclyde;
Master of Divinity Degree (Hons) from Trinity College and Seminary (accredited by the University of Liverpool)
Question QUESTION: Is it okay to have sex with anyone or make it an activity that one enjoy?
ANSWER: Dear Henry,
Obviously, I am unaware as to your own geographical location but, in the so-called West, this is a very important question. I can only assume that, as you have asked me for an answer, you are looking for a Biblical answer.
The Bible makes clear that the sexual act was "invented" by God - "So God created human beings in His own image. In the image of God He created them; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them and said, 'Be fruitful and multiply. ...'". So sex was created in order to "propagate the species". (Gen 1:27-28)
In Ex.20:17, we are commanded, among other things, "You must not covet your neighbour's wife ..."; while Prov.5:18 exhorts a man: "Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth."
From a negative point of view, the Lord says, through His prophet Malachi: "You cry out, 'Why doesn't the LORD accept my worship?' I'll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to to her, 'though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows. ... So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth." (2:14-15).
When we turn to the New Testament, Paul makes the situation abundantly clear. Writing, under the inspiration of God the Holy Spirit, to the believers in Corinth - one of the most immoral cities of the ancient world - he says: "But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband."
Add to these the multiple references against both adultery and fornication, and I would suggest that the Bible makes it quite clear that sex is designed, by God, for one man and one woman, for life.
Having sex "with anyone" (promiscuity) is unbiblical, sinful, and dangerous - in that it can cause disease, unplanned pregnancy, and divorce.
As far as the enjoyability of sex is concerned, I would happily state that it is indeed an enjoyable activity - provided it is within God's prescribed bounds, and not in a situation in which one is filled with guilt.
I hope that this is a satisfactory answer to your question, and that, in your personal life, you will stick to chastity before marriage,and fidelity within it. From my personal experience, I can highly recommend it!
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QUESTION: So it is okay to help sex only with your wife and one can participate in sex activity anyway one likes.
Answer Hi again, Henry.
I'm not absolutely certain what you are asking here! I am making the assumption that there is a typo and that "help" should read "have" (if I am wrong, please forgive - and correct - me). If I am correct, then I think that my earlier answer would confirm that a sexual relationship with one's wife is Biblically okay.
The second part of your supplementary question could be understood as referring to different types of sexual activity, and to different physical positions. This is a much more difficult question! However, we do have guidance in the Bible. For example (and not to repeat the references that I gave in the last answer!), Peter writes that "... you wives must accept the authority of your husbands." (IPet.3:1). However, he also writes: "In the same way, you husbands must give honour to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. Treat her as you should, so your prayers will not be hindered." (v.7)
Paul, in his letter to the Ephesian Christians, instructs wives to: "... submit to your husbands as to the Lord." (5:22). However, like Peter, he also has a strong word for the husbands. "... love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave His life for her ..." (v.25).
So, based on Scripture, I would say that activity that is not forced by one spouse on the other, is permissible within the bounds of marriage. However, if either one is, in any way, uncomfortable with the idea, then it should be abandoned out of consideration for the one who is unhappy about it.
Obviously, I don't wish to go too far into specifics here, but activities that are "unnatural", and that involve bondage, sadism, masochism, anal sex, or "threesomes" (or more) would, in my book, be automatically barred.
I would encourage you to seek face-to-face counselling on this issue, and pray that God would guide you into a full and happy sexual relationship with your wife - one that will make you both happy, fulfilled, and acceptable in the sight of the Lord.
I trust that this will be of some further help.
Kind regards.
C.Brian Ross (Rev)
