Expert: Glenn Hansen - 5/9/2008

Question
Abraham had many wives and God blessed him. Why do we now it's God's will for a man to only have 1 wife?

Answer
Hi Phillip,

I'm only aware of two wives that Abraham had. Sarah was the first. After she died, Abraham married Keturah. (Gen. 25:1) He did have an unknown number of concubines, according to Genesis 25:6.

Originally there was Adam and Eve. The custom of multiple wives and concubines was definitely practiced among God's people in later times. David had two named wives, Abigail and Ahinoham. (2 Sam. 2:2) He had other wives and concubines as well. (2 Sam. 5:13)

The following NT passages mention specifically that those in certain church positions should have but one wife:

1Ti 3:2  A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;
1Ti 3:12  Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.
Tit 1:6  If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.

Paul took the position that a person should have one wife: "But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband." 1 Cor. 7:2

Paul went on to say that he thought that even one wife was too many. Read 1 Corinthians 7, if you haven't, for Paul's perspective on the advantages and disadvantages of marriage.

In the part of the world where I live, it is not unusual for married men to have mistresses or concubines. Apparently, for many, it is an accepted part of life here. The wives do not divorce their husbands on this account, as long as he continues to provide for his family.

In certain countries, it is illegal to have more than one wife. For instance, in America, polygamous groups are running afoul of the law there.

If a person is interested in having several wives or a few, it does not appear to be a good time for this practice in the States.

You might want to discuss this issue with a happily married man for some further insight into how just one wife can be a satisfying and rewarding experience.

A Jewish friend of mine, a teacher among his people and quite happily married, said that all men, even the happily married,  suffer from "existential loneliness," that is, the longing of the heart for the Divine.

My feeling is that being connected to Jesus Christ and appreciating the great love that he evinced on the Cross for you would go a long way in answering your question.

Hope this helps.