Expert: Daniel Kimbril - 5/7/2008

Question
I just got married. I love it.  So I have a question.  My wife is mad at because I am trying to figure this out.  It all started when I was 5.  My mommy gave me my first tootsie pop.  I tried to see how many licks it took me took get to the middle of the tootsie pop.  Because I was only 5, it took 11 licks and a few bits.  Now that I am older, the last time I was able to count accurately was before I was married with 247 licks and one bit.
Now that I am married, my wife does not like it when we go out and I have my tootsie pop and my counter (and she hates my tootsie pop holder pocket buddy).  I thought that I had hit 364 one time, but I found that my wife had clicked my counter without me looking.  
This experiment is hard than it looks.  When I share my passion of trying to find the number of licks it takes to get to the middle of the tootsie pop, most people ask me. "How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie in the middle of a tootsie pop?"  That is not the question that I am asking you today.  Mainly because it depends on the size of your mouth, the length of your tongue, and what you determine as a lick, so everybody has a different number.  Some people count a lick starting at about the middle of your tongue.  I start at the back of the tongue so I can get a full lick on the tootsie pop.  It took about a year to take control of my gag reflex.  Anyway, my newly found wife does not like me walking around licking and counting.  So I have found a way around it.  I started going to a men's Bible study about 2 months ago just so I can lick my tootsie pop.  You have to continue licking the tootsie pop straight though.  You can not set it down because the element would affect the tootsie pop, then it would an incorrect account of licking the tootsie pop.  So I have been licking my tootsie pop in the men's Bible study.  Of course, some dude told my wife, and ...well. Anyway, my question is, "Is it disrespectful to lick a tootsie pop in a men's Bible Study and irreverent if I lick my tootsie pop while others are praying to God as long as I am quiet while licking my tootsie pop?"


Answer
You know this is an unusual question but with simple unlikable results. Romans 14:1-8. That verse talks about prefer your brother...in other words don't do things that intentionally agitate others. The issue is a two way street. The problem may not be what you are doing but when you do it and who you do it around. It is more than likely an embarrassment to her. Get with her and tell her you want to do this for personal reasons and ask her what time and on what day is good for you to experiment and that you are sorry if it embarrassed her it was not your intention to do so. Remember take the low road. Don't do something in secret even if it isn't wrong to do so. Secrecy is the playground of the Devil and can cause distrust among spouses. Being considerate of others is more important than achieving what you want. 1 Samuel 15:22.

Hope this helps you out.
Daniel



I Samuel 15:22 Saul wanted to achieve favor with his people and made decisions to accommodate that. It was more important than what he was told to do even though it was more inconvenient to do so. In marriage a lot of things are more inconvenient than not but we should not do what what we want we do. Most times it is passing the blame as what Saul did. Respect for what is asked and communication are two of the most important things in a marriage. Poor communication = poor marriage. Good communication = good marriage. At no time did Saul properly communicate anything. He acted on his own accord with his own agenda in mind. Sounds like he wanted to lick a tootsie pop when he wanted too. There is nothing wrong with saving the best for God but when asked not too that is a different story!

God Bless
Daniel