Expert: Rev Philip Dacre - 8/28/2008

Question
I read your passage about how God excepts second marriage, but does he really? It says in Mathew 5:32 that anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. I have recently married for the second time, my husband now treats me better than my exhusband. My first marriage ended in both people committing adultery. So does this mean my marriage now is adultery and not a real marriage in God's eyes? Or is have a loving home and faithful marriage this time what matters?

Answer
Dear Abigail,



What you really need to ask is "Is divorce valid?"


Lets look at it. If divorce is valid then you are single after divorce, rather than still married.

God divorced Israel in the Old Testament several times. whilst knowing that this is a symbolism, it meant clearly, that He saw validity in divorce.

Obviously, we know, that divorce is never a nice issue. Never a good issue. It is very much like the wearing of hats in church for women.
Social law. Customs.

Jesus was saying, "You are not to treat this issue lightly!"

Now when marriages get to the point of adultery, in other words, serious rifts that cannot seemingly be resolved. Then the issue is serious. Serious enough for divorce. The parties involved are still the same. They have the same needs for companionship, and marriage.They have not changed.But their lifestyle has changed.

They need to be married and when everything that can be done has been done, without resolution, then it is time for divorce and subsequent re marriage.Otherwise a worse situation can occur.

It is the better of two evils. Divorce and re marriage is better than promiscuity and many sexual love affairs.

In the New Testament we are given to see the why, everything is the way it is. Not given blind faith laws to obey. We are given to see why the laws are given, the rules and disciplines are set for our own good.

Even adultery should be forgiven in the New Testament by each partner, but after a time we can see that the marriage is not going to work. The seriousness of the rift keeps appearing time and again and may produce with it multiple adulteries. So then divorce becomes necessary and then of course re marriage.

Paul tells us that if two cannot live together at peace in marriage they should separate but seek to be re united. But, of course, the same laws of the land that govern our marriage laws (and not the bible) govern also our divorce laws.

We abide by the law of the land concerning our marriage laws and therefore it might be good policy to do the same concerning the divorce laws. Seeing as the criteria for both are recognized by God.

Hope this helps Abigail?

God bless