Expert: Thurman C. Petty, Jr. - 1/30/2009

Question
QUESTION: So are you saying that since I did this then I am not saved or have I just backslided?

ANSWER: Dear Corrina, (Sorry, CGLLR)

I’m glad you haven’t become discouraged over the issues we’ve discussed. Take heart: Jesus loves you more when you’re down—when you’re His lost sheep.

What you did is sin, there’s no doubt about it. But as it appears from here, you have not lost your salvation: you have merely, as you put it, “backslided” (backslid is the proper spelling). You have put yourself at terrible risk, but Jesus has not left you. He is there, through His Holy Spirit, giving you the guilt to turn away from this sinful behavior.

As you realize that this is a sinful pleasure that is pulling you away from Jesus, repent, ask Jesus to forgive you, and then—through His power—stop doing it. Then Jesus will come back into your heart, just as He was before.

I told you before that:

John 10:28  I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; NO ONE CAN SNATCH THEM OUT OF MY HAND.
John 10:29  My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all ; NO ONE CAN SNATCH THEM OUT OF MY FATHER'S HAND.

The only way you can be lost (lose your salvation) is to ignore the pleading of the Holy Spirit (the guilt that you feel in your conscience) and continue in your sinful way. After a while you won’t hear the Holy Spirit as well, because you are searing your conscience, “as with a hot iron” (1 Tim. 4:2).

Believe in Jesus. Hold onto Jesus. He has you in His hand. Don’t doubt that He has “saved” you, because He has.

The ONLY WAY you can ever get out of His hand is to CLIMB OUT YOURSELF BY YOUR OWN CONSCIOUS DECISION. You do this by LOVING SINFUL ACTIONS MORE THAN YOU LOVE JESUS and refusing to repent of them.

The very fact that you’re so worried about your salvation PROVES that the Holy Spirit has not left you. If He had left you, then you would most likely have little interest in spiritual things.

SO, DON’T DOUBT THAT YOU’RE “SAVED.” PRAISE GOD FOR THE FACT THAT HE HAS SAVED YOU, AND LIVE EACH DAY, BELIEVING THAT GOD IS CARING FOR YOU!!!

Always be ready for Jesus to come. When you are in Jesus’ hand, you are ready.

Thurman C. Petty, Jr.


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Well I don't know if I want to quit just yet but I wish that GOD would pull me away from it so I don't get myself into a dangerous situation.If I pray about it,do you think that He will pull me away from it?

ANSWER: Dear CGLLR,

I’m afraid you don’t get it: God loves you, but he respects your power of choice, and will never force you to do anything that you don’t want to do. And the very fact that you don’t want to quit puts God in a quandary: You want to continue, God loves you but respects you freedom and will not force you—and therefore God can’t help you.

Listen to what the Bible says:

James 4:17  Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.

Isa 59:2  But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.

Corrina, If you continue to sin after you’ve discovered that the thing you are doing is sin, God Himself cannot help you. God expects that you stop sinning immediately when you discover that what you are doing is sin. What you are doing is breaking the 7th commandment, and no lawbreaker can enter the kingdom of heaven!

I fear for your life, Corrina. You may survive physically from chatting with this dirty old man, but you will die spiritually.  He may eventually want to meet you, and before you know it he will rape you, and you will be very lucky to escape with your life. Many girls in that situation lose theirs.

How do you know that after you’ve continued to indulge your lusts for a while that you will want to turn back to Jesus? Many who give in to sin simply slip through the cracks of God’s rescue net and never return.

Don’t go on! Stop it right now. Get down on your knees and plead with God for strength of will to return to Jesus. You may need to shut down your computer for several weeks so as to break contact with this man.

Turn him over to the police, because what he is doing is against the law. Give the police his e-mail address, or the chat-room and time that you meet with him. Let them give him what he really deserves—jail time for soliciting sex with a minor.

I’m praying for you Corrina. You are in an extremely dangerous place right now, and it all hinges on your decision whether or not to follow Christ. He’s the only safe Person you have. Don’t turn Him away.

Please tell me in your next letter that you’ve broken off with sin and have turned back to Jesus. I’ll look for your response.

Please be ready for Jesus to return.

Thurman C. Petty, Jr.
Petty@hyperusa.com


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Well I do want to quit it but I know that I can't do it all by myself.I care too much about people's feelings.But now that you are saying all of that,scares me and makes me want to stop but at the same time makes me feel like I am already lost now.It makes me think that GOD has already given up on me.He lives in the U.K so I don't know how to turn him in anyway.But now I feel even worse.I wish I could have stopped a long time ago or better yet,never had gotten into it.Does this mean that I don't want to change?Does this mean that GOD has given up on me?Does this mean that I won't turn from my ways?Does this mean that I am lost?Does this mean that GOD isn't going to help me even though I want Him to?

Answer
Dear Corrina,

I’d like to share with you my experience so you know why I’m so urgent in the way I’ve been talking with you.

When I was your age, I too was caught up with sexual fantasy which ate up my energy and my life. I went on through my teen years, attended a Christian high school, and a Christian college. All the time, my whole life was smudged with the fantasies.

I met a lovely young lady with whom I fell in love. I asked her to marry me. But still this fantasy life weighed me down. Then I met a minister who told me what I’m telling you, “You can’t do it. Jesus has already earned your victory on the cross. Will you let him give you His victory.” I replied “Yes,” and the fantasies were gone. And as long as I was faithful to Jesus I had no more trouble with them. (I did backslide several times, but when I came to my senses, I took it back to Jesus and He gave me victory once again.)A few months later I married Martha, with whom I’ve lived and loved for more than 48 years.

You see, after struggling with the “beast” for 8 or 9 years, I finally gave it up to Jesus, and He gave me victory.

That’s why I know what you’re going through. That’s why I know that Jesus can give you victory over your fantasies. And that’s why I plead with you stop now, and give it to Jesus. Why waste the best part of your life slogging along with this huge monkey on your back? It’s worse than drugs!


Let me take your questions one by one, as I think you’ll understand it better that way:

1. Well I do want to quit it but I know that I can't do it all by myself.
—I’m so happy that you WANT to quit. That shows me—and God—that He can reach out to you and help you. I must say that: Of course YOU CANNOT DO IT BY YOURSELF. That’s why you have to surrender to God and let Him help you. AND HE WILL HELP YOU. Just pray: “Dear God, I want to quit this, but I can’t do it by myself. Will you do it for me?” Then take action—cut off your contact with this man: don’t even say goodbye—just stop. God will give you strength to do it if you believe. You believe that God CAN do it. Now believe that He WILL do it.

2. I care too much about people's feelings.—I care about people’s feelings too, but I’m not going to let someone continue to draw me away from Jesus. That man won’t cry. Actually, he’ll probably just shrug his shoulders and look for some other victim on which to ply his fantasies. (That’s what it is—just fantasy.)

3. But now that you are saying all of that, scares me and makes me want to stop but at the same time makes me feel like I am already lost now. It makes me think that GOD has already given up on me. –When you are sinning the understanding that what you are doing COULD cause you to be lost is scary. It should scare you to . . . TURN BACK TO GOD. The fact that you WANT to quit shows that you are NOT ALREADY LOST: you want help, and God stands by ready to help you—and to save you. God has not given up on you. He never gives up on you. [There could come a time, however, when you’ve turned your back on God so long that His Spirit will no longer strive with you (Gen. 6:3, first part).] But I don’t think you’ve reached that point. If you PRAY to God for help, and then DO what He says—Thou shalt not commit adultery (Ex. 20:14), (not even in you thoughts)—He will help you . . . give you the STRENGTH TO STOP.

4. He lives in the U.K so I don't know how to turn him in anyway. –His location has nothing to do with your relationship with him. Maybe you can’t turn him in to the police, but you can STOP “LIVING WITH HIM.”

5. But now I feel even worse. I wish I could have stopped a long time ago or better yet, never had gotten into it. –You’re right on both statements: But that’s history, and you can’t change it. But YOU CAN CHANGE THE PRESENT which will make a huge difference in your future.

6. Does this mean that I don't want to change? –No. You’ve already said in 1. above that you want to quit. The decision  for ACTION is what you need.

7. Does this mean that GOD has given up on me? Does this mean that I won't turn from my ways? Does this mean that I am lost? Does this mean that GOD isn't going to help me even though I want Him to? –God has not given up on you, because you WANT Him to help you. But you must make the DECISION to let Him help you.

Corrina, as I’ve said before, you cannot give this up on your own. You’ve got to LAY IT ON JESUS AND LET HIM DO IT FOR YOU. Your “want to” must become an “I will let Jesus do it for me.” He CAN do it. He CAN give you VICTORY. You can be an overcomer through Jesus, and He will take away your desire to do this thing if you will let Him.

Your whole future life will depend on the decision you make now.

You can decide to continue a life of fantasy with this guy and go down the pathway of sin, from fantasy to fact and become what some people call a “slut,” sleeping with . . . whatever . . . going through life living a fantasy while being eaten up from the inside with guilt.

Or you can decide to lay it all on Jesus and let Him make you an overcomer. You will have a happy life, no matter what happens, because it will be a life that is lived with Jesus. You can be a help to others, a blessing to everyone with whom you come in contact. Your victory over this experience will lead you to gain victory after victory over every sinful desire that comes to you . . . because you let Jesus become the force in your life. And then, after a life of joy with Jesus here, you can have Heaven too.

It’s your choice. I have prayed for you that you choose Jesus.

You are not lost. God has not given up on you. God stands ready to help with all His power. The only part of the puzzle that is needed to complete this picture is your decision to stop, and to do just that—STOP IN THE NAME OF JESUS.

I pray for your victory. Don’t doubt. Just DO . . . and Jesus will DO with you.

Stay with Jesus. It’s the only way to live happily.

Thurman