AboutRev C.Brian Ross Expertise I am happy to offer answers to anyone with a question that refers to the Christian Faith in its widest possible sense. I believe that the Bible is the living Word of God, and seek to base all of my life on its teaching. I also have some knowledge of some of the cults, and of Islam and Judaism. Of course, my answers are just one man's thoughts, and I would always advise a questioner to check with others, and with the Word of God.
Experience Served as a full-time parish minister in Scotland for about six years, and then spent the last thirty as a teacher (now 'retired') of Religious Education in Secondary Comprehensive schools (ages 11-17) while continuing my own preaching and teaching ministry. I also believe that learning is a life-time process, and have recently completed a Master's degree in Divinity.
Organizations Former Presenter on Revival FM - a local Christian, community radio station, broadcasting in west central Scotland, and online at revival.fm Involved with a number of organisations that support Christians who are currently suffering persecution in some 70 countries around the world.
Publications Various articles in Christian magazines. I also have two blogsites - www.crazyrev.blogspot.com and (with audio messages) www.revcbross.blogspot.com
Education/Credentials Diploma of The Bible Training Institute, Glasgow;
Licentiate in Theology of the University of Glasgow;
Associateship of The Philosophical Society of England;
Bachelor of Arts Degree (Hons) in History from The Open University;
Post-grad Certificate of Education - Religious Education and History;
Post-grad Cetificate in Learning and Teaching;
Post-grad Diploma in Management and Learning in Education;
Master of Science Degree from the University of Strathclyde;
Master of Divinity Degree (Hons) from Trinity College and Seminary (accredited by the University of Liverpool)
Question Is it still a sin for a married woman to stay with a violent, aggressive husband? Each day i listen to my friend crying and watch her health deteriate because she is scared of her husband. I have told her repeatedly to speak to her Mum and Dad, but she won't as her Father is a Pastor and her brothers are a worship leader and an Alpha course leader. They have been to counselling, and all that acheived was more pain for her when they got home. I'm stuck as to what to say to her, I've read Mark, Matthew and Corinthians on there views, and have not found guidance. Please help. Thank you for your time. Karl
Answer Dear Karl,
Thank you for your question, although it really is a counselling situation rather than one of seeking to understand a Biblical doctrine or passage.
However, it is a very serious situation and one that is, sadly, not uncommon. It is also one on which I have heard various opinions, and so I am not claiming that my personal interpretation is the only valid one.
I start with the fact that there are two types of marriage service for Christian couples - a Christian marriage service (often referred to as a "church wedding"), and a civil marriage service (conducted, in the UK, by a registrar). The latter is a form of contractual agreement that, having been made by man, may be broken by man provided that all relevant costs are met. Those costs, of course, are not just financial affairs, and may be very heavy indeed! The former is a covenant relationship in which God is involved, and which only He may break - by the death of one or other of the partners in the marriage.
The ideal is that a couple live together, enjoying God's blessing; being faithful to one another; raising any child(ren) with whom they are blessed, in an environment of faith and love; setting a good example to tohers who follow them into the marriage relationshp. Unfortunately, the ideal is seldom, if ever, realised in full. We are, each of us, sinners - even if we have been saved by grace.
So how would I advise your friend in her situation? The honest answer is that I am unable to give specific advice, simply because I have no personal knowledge of either the situation itself, or of either of the two people who are most intimately involved! All that I can do is offer some general thoughts that she, if you share them with her, would have to apply as she saw fit.
Rom.7:2-3 is, admittedly, being used by Paul as an illustration of the believer's relationship to the Jewish law. However, what he says is true - that the wife is committed to her husband (and vice/versa!) until he dies, and to remarry constitutes adultery. This, of course, may be balanced by I Cor.7:10ff. This, it would appear to me, permits the wife to leave her husband - BUT NOT TO REMARRY! Once again, of course, Paul is not referring to a violent husband, but the principle remains the same.
I could go on through a number of other Scriptures, but you would be reading for ages! If genuine counselling has failed; if the husband is unrepentant of his behaviour towards his wife (has anyone pointed out, lovingly, to him, that Eph.5:22-24 is followed, immediately, by Eph.525-28?!), then she is free to leave him, but to follow an unmarried life for as long as he is alive.
As I said at the beginning, this is always a sad situation that does, I know, bring great sadness to the heart of Father God (see Mal.2:16). I trust that my own thoughts will have helped a little, and I hope that the husband will receive help and guidance from someone whom he trusts and respects, that this marriage might yet be saved, and the Lord be glorified in it.
