Expert: Paul Walker - 7/17/2009

Question
Good afternoon,
I hope all is well with you today.
My question is what is expected from me as a wife when my husband left our home, moved in to his own apartment and says the reason is not because me or of anything I did.
 After he made up his mind to leave he told me I could join him in the apartment if I wanted to. I answered him that I should be with my husband so yes, and he told me "no". Then befor he left he told our Pastor that one day I could follow him, that this was not in anger or a legal separation.
 My Brother who is a Christian too, told me he left and I should not follow him, If my husband wants to talk to me about coming home then talk. But for now He abandon his family. He no longer is my spiritual authority over the affairs of this home. I should aways show love and respect; but when he is telling me what to at home politely remind him that he moved out and thank him for his opinion.
But he needs to hear from me that he is not the head of the house hold any longer.  My Pastor suggest to me that if I wanted him to be the head of the house I could find out his opinion and honor it because submission starts in the heart.  So far my husband has not showed any disire to even be head of the house anyway.  
What does God exspect out of a wife in this situation?

Answer
Dear Ann,
I do not know enough concerning your situation to answer as fully as I think you need and deserve, for instance, whether or not your husband is a saved man, etc. I am assuming that you have trusted in the Lord Jesus Christ and believe that he died on the cross for your sins. First, let me say that I hate the situation you are in. Your husband obviously is having some emotional problems at the least. But, assuming that you are both saved individuals the commandment is that he is your husband regardless of any situation.
And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, LET HER REMAIN UNMARRIED, OR BE RECONCILED TO HER HUSBAND: and let not the husband put away his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:10-11 KJV)
I realize that he is the one that did the leaving, but I hope you can see the principle involved.
Likewise, ye wives, BE IN SUBJECTION to your own husbands; that, IF ANY OBEY NOT THE WORD, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even THE ORNAMENT OF A MEEK AND QUIET SPIRIT, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, BEING IN SUBJECTION UNTO THEIR OWN HUSBANDS: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, CALLING HIM LORD: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. (1 Peter 3:1-6 KJV)
If everyone did right all the time, living for God and Christ would be easy, not worth any rewards. You need to obey, submit and reverence your husband all the more to help him get it back together.
Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife SEE THAT SHE REVERENCE HER HUSBAND. (Ephesians 5:33 KJV)
Pray for him, love him, reverence him, obey him, submit and subject yourself unto him. Never argue with him, always accept his decisions and make them your law to work with him to carry them out to a successful conclusion.
I would recommend the following book"
  "Fascinating womanhood"
      Helen Andelin
  http://www.fascinatingwomanhood.net/
I hope this helps.
Your Servant In Christ Jesus,
Paul Walker
paulwalker@aficj.org