Expert: Tom Smith - 6/22/2010

Question
What do you believe is to be the attitude of Christians toward homosexuality/homosexuals? Should they be "loved into the Kingdom" and welcomed into the church.  Should they be forced to give up their orientation before entering the church as worshipers, what?  I have a close family member who says he thinks he is gay, and I am concerned about how I should deal with this in a loving way without restricting his access to the very place that might help him.

Answer
First, let me say that the Bible is as clear as it is on any topic that both the act and the orientation are sinful. I know that was not specifically part of your question but I wanted to state that first.

The reason that I want to state that upfront is that I have never understood why homosexuality is treated by so much of the church as different from other sins. Scripture includes homosexuality and homosexual acts in the lists of other sins rather than treating it in a separate category. I say this because, when we are trying to understand how the Bible tells us to deal with homosexuals, we should be asking a more general question - what does scripture tell us about how to deal with sin. Sin of any type.

The fact is that we are all initially in the same boat - we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Rom 3:23) and we are all headed for the same fate without Christ. That being the case, I would deal with a homosexual who has not received Christ the same way that I would any other unsaved person - show them Christ's love for them that he exhibited by going to the cross and dying on the cross for their sin. He died on the cross out of love for those who are involved with homosexuality just the same as He died on the cross out of love for us - without differentiation. If Jesus loved them so much that He would die on the cross for them, I don't see that we have any option but to demonstrate the same love and openness and concern for their eternity that we would show anyone else who was unsaved. I would not want to attend a church that did not believe that homosexuals should be treated with that type of love and concern.

Should they be forced to give up their orientation before entering a church? No. Did Jesus say that I won't accept you until you give up your orientation to sin? If He had, we would all be without hope because without Him, we cannot escape the enslavement of our orientation to sin, so to suggest to a homosexual that He must change before receiving Christ would not be appropriate. Christ died on the cross for us while we were yet in rebellion against Him. He died for the very men who were putting nails in His hands. There is nothing that any of us can do to make ourselves more worthy of Him, so we cannot place that burden on anyone else regardless of what their sins may be. Let me be clear - this is not to say that the church ought to downplay the seriousness of sin - any sin including homosexuality - but rather that we need to realize that the person is not the sin, and while we may abhor sin, we must love the person as Christ loved us.

What happens when a professed homosexual is saved? Again, looking at others, do you know anyone who is yet perfected? No, we all fail from time to time, and certainly when a person has just received Christ, the process of sanctification has just begin. The desires may not go away immediately, but the person should stop acting on those desires as an act of obedience. Over time, change will come - the person should be submitting themselves to the guidance of the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to change their desires. This comment applies generally to all who receive Christ, but includes homosexuals. We see that some in the church in Corinth once were homosexuals and were changed after being saved:

1 Cor 6:8-11
9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.
NKJV

Bottom line - I don't think that the fact that he thinks that he may be gay should enter into whether he comes to church or not. If we do not welcome those who need Christ into the church, then how will they hear the good news?

I hope that this helps.

Tom
http://discern.ca