Expert: Pastor Don Carpenter - 6/26/2010

Question
I fell in love with an Indian boy (Indian as in from India). He and his family are Christians. I received a text from his mother a week ago asking me to please not have anymore contact with him as he needs to focus on his career. but he's 18 and he's my best friend. we live on different sides of the country, and we've never met in person. I know you're going to judge this relationship like everyone does when they hear this, but just dont for a sec. it's not IMPOSSIBLE. anyway, i was thinking about all this and the scripture that says "Honor your father and mother for this is right". should he honor his parents wishes even though they dont make sense? what about when Moses had to go against his royal family and ask them to let God's people go? Is it wrong for us to be friends, if he's still  honoring his parents by focusing on his career?

Answer
Hi Elanore,

Thanks for this great question.  I am sorry for my late response.  There is no Biblical magic age that liberates a child from the obligation of obeying and honoring their parents.  Only after they get married and establish their own household are they out from under parental authority.  With that said, this is between your boyfriend and his parents.  He needs to either submit to their authority, or talk them into allowing you two to have contact.  If this is God's will, God can work in their hearts to allow you two to get together.  You will not help your case by sneaking around behind their backs.... even if you disagree with their reasoning.  Part of obedience is submission even when you do not understand the reason for the rule or disagree with the rule.

I hope that this helps you.

In Christ
Pastor Don